Super Crack

So…how bout that Superbowl? All in all it was a pretty poor affair from top to bottom, one of the worst games I’ve seen in a while, horrible officiating, and in my opinion the commercials (the most important part) were really quite weak. Ah well, at least I got to engage in some serious gluttony for the day (my third favorite sin behind sloth and lust).

As for today, I just finished watching this evening’s episode of 24. For those of you who do not watch 24, the best way I can describe it is, it’s the closest thing to crack on television (or so I imagine — I’ve never actually used crack so I can’t be certain). From the moment I hear that clock begin ticking, up until the moment the episode ends, my entire body (and mind) is transfixed by watching Keifer Sutherland chase terrorists, and as soon as it’s over I want more.

Every season has been the same in terms of this response…

However, this year one thing has changed.

Me.

The show takes place (for the most part) in Los Angeles, which means Los Angeles is where the terrorist threat(s) usually occur. And now that I am a resident of LA, I can’t help but feel even more concern, a more vested interest, in seeing Jack Bauer come to the rescue once again.

If the terrorists release nerve gas, I could be affected.

If there is a nuclear explosion, I’m the one who’s going to die…

In this sense — the show is almost like super crack now…and this has led me to a new theory:

Any show that takes place in the city you live instantly gets exponentially better (the percentage directly related to how important the story of the show correlates to the location). By this I mean since the danger in 24 affects LA and the greater Los Angeles area directly, living in LA improves 24 more than say living in Chicago improves ER (notable exceptions would be when ER does an episode where there may or may not be a smallpox plague in Chicago and stuff like that).

This theory has led to a new goal for my life.

I want the ability to be able to have a residence and the means to transport myself to every city that the television shows that I watch take place in on that day.

So, at current that would mean I would be in LA for Monday and Tuesday (24 and The Shield), on Wednesday I could go to Hawaii (where Lost is filmed), but I think that doesn’t work as well as say going to the Florida Keys for Invasion. Then On Thursday it would be off to any one of the following: Chicago (ER), Scranton, PA (The Office), somewhere in the OC (for The OC), and I’m not really sure where My Name Is Earl takes place?

However, I would also need somewhere in NJ for the Sopranos (although since my parents still live there I suppose I could just go home), a place in NYC for Rescue Me, somewhere in Deadwood, SD (for Deadwood), and a place in D.C. for the West Wing (though that’s ending, so maybe I would just rent).

Hopefully by the time I’m able to put said plan into action, some of these television shows are still on the air (unlikely - but i’m sure new one’s will pop up that equate). I think the biggest problem in my plan is the transportation issues…that is why I am taking this opportunity to once again implore the federal government and other non-government scientists to speed up production on the kind of Star Trek transport system that will make my dream possible.

Thank you.