The Ants In My Bathroom

There are ants in my bathroom. I find this odd. Not the ants themselves, but the fact that they keep appearing in my bathroom.

There are no ants in my kitchen.

And there is no food in my bathroom…but still they come.

I’ve sprayed raid in my bathroom several times over the course of my occupancy in this apartment, and the ants disappear for a stretch, but then eventually they return.

What about my bathroom continues to attract the ants? My bathroom is just about the furthest point in the apartment from the doors and windows so how do the ants manage to get into my bathroom from outside?

Is there something in my bathroom that is more appealling to the ants than food? Perhaps these ants like Shampoo. Perhaps they like the smell of cleaning products. Perhaps these ants are retarded.

I have retarded ants in my bathroom.

Sometimes when I’m in my bathroom and see some of the retarded ants I stop whatever I’m doing and watch them as they crawl around the tile with seemingly no direction or purpose. Occassionally two or more of the ants come together for a few moments before heading off again in a new direction. Are they communicating? If they are communicating I wonder if their aimless wandering could be explained by the things they say. In my head their conversation goes like this:

Ant 1: Where’s the food?
Ant 2: I have no idea, keep looking.
Ant 3: I told you we should have taken a left.

And that’s about the time when I use some kleenex and flush the ants down the toilet, and then spray the floor again with raid.

Stupid retarded ants.