Today was a rather uneventful day, the highlight so far has been grocery shopping at Whole Foods. One of the things you can count on when going to Whole Foods is being solicited for some cause by people with clipboards wanting you to sign your name and give money.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against good causes, and in fact I am usually (depending on said cause) willing to sign my name to a petition or what have you in order to support whatever is being talked about (today it was trying to extend the length of time in which sex offenders must have their names available on a registry for the public to see - something which i support, I am not now nor have I ever been pro sex offender).
What I won’t do is give money to people with clipboards. This is not because I don’t want to help, but rather it’s because I don’t really have a lot of disposable income.
One of the girls working the solicitation gig today asked me for a donation to which I politely replied sorry. She persisted to the point that I felt it necessary to explain that I do not have a lot of extra money lying around and therefore cannot afford to spend my money in this manner. I told her if it were up to me I’d give millions of dollars to combat the plague of sex offenders threatening our daily lives, but that as things stood I didn’t really have much beyond my John Hancock to offer her.
She then suggested that instead of spending some of my grocery money on food I give them some of it to fight the sex offenders.
I looked at her for about 30 seconds and then asked her if she was serious.
She said yes.
I then asked her if she makes the same suggestion to everyone who politely declines donating.
She said sometimes.
I then told her again that I was sorry, but that first off I was paying for my groceries with a credit card and second even if I had cash, it was going to pay for me to eat food.
She then looked at me and in all seriousness said…well you’ll be sorry if you find yourself living next to a sex offender and don’t know about it. She then said I hope you enjoy your food.
At that point I laughed and went inside…
But she is correct, I will be sorry if I live next to a sex offender and don’t know about it…because think of the potential goldmine of comedy that will go untapped if there’s a sex offender next door that I never know about.
As for my food…I’m betting that dinner is going to taste pretty good…I will now go find out.
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