Where Were You

when i was in high school i once remarked to my ap history professor that we were living in boring times, that our generation had yet to see any real landmark events that could be considered worthy of the history books.

i bemoaned the fact that there had been nothing in my lifetime that made people around the world stop whatever they were doing just to witness the moment...something that we would remember with amazing clarity for the rest of our lives...something that had the "where were you" factor.

he smiled politely and assured me that before my lifetime was over i would bear witness to plenty of these moments.

smart man that mr. vetrini.

on the morning of september 11, 2001 i was sitting in a classroom, listening to my criminal law professor wax poetically about the differences between manslaughter and murder, blissfully unaware of what was happening in the world outside our classroom doors (note: this was before wifi was widely available in classrooms).

it wasn't until class ended (a little before 9am est) and i stepped into the hallway that i heard about the first plane hitting the tower.  at that time people weren't entirely sure whether it was a freak accident, an act of terrorism, or some other thing that could not yet be explained.  lots of theories and arguments about what had actually happened were being tossed around, and i decided, rather then listen to conjecture, to find a nearby television set and see for myself what was happening.

as such, i made my way down to the student lounge where a large group of people (students, teachers, administrators) had gathered to huddle around the few screens.  i squeezed my way inside and found some space in front of one of the tv's just in time to watch the second plane hit at 9:03 am.

it's a sight that i would see replayed countless times in the hours, days, and weeks that lay ahead, but at the time the thing i remember most about that moment was the sound that escaped from the mouth of a woman standing a few feet away from me.  a guttural moan that, best i could tell, was supposed to be the word "no" but instead came out as some kind of disorganized wail, as if her mind was rendered incapable of putting together the two necessary letters required to form the coherent word.

i felt my body go numb.  all around me people sank to the floor, their legs no longer capable of supporting them.  we continued to watch, transfixed, as the news coverage continued.  i'm not sure how much time passed (maybe another 15 minutes) but at some point a voice came over the loud speaker announcing the university was closing and that all classes were canceled.  slowly, the crowd dissipated as people headed back to their respective homes and dorms.  eventually, i too turned and headed out the doors.

i remember walking to my car, mostly because i remember the silence.  there were still a lot of people on campus but all of them had been rendered mute, still digesting what they had seen and still trying to comprehend what it all could mean.

i got home, turned on the television, and parked myself on my futon.  once again, my timing was fortuitous (or not), as i was just in time to watch the first tower collapse.

from there the rest of the day is a bit of a blur.  i remember seeing the second tower collapse, i remember talking to my brother and my parents, i remember checking in with a few friends who lived in nyc, and i remember being awake as the sun rose the next morning, having not yet shut off the tv...but beyond that, i don't remember much.

in the weeks that would follow, i would think long and hard about what it would have meant had i been in the towers or in the pentagon or on one of those planes that day.  i would think about how i would've felt if my life were to be tragically cut short, whether i would have been happy with the life i'd lead.  i would think about why i was in law school, was it something i was doing for myself, or was it something i was doing because it was expected of me.

eventually i would come to the conclusion that i didn't want to be a lawyer, that the path i was on was heading me towards a life i did not want to live.  which is why a few months later i dropped out of law school and started down a new path, in search of a life i could be happy with...

so here i am, 8 years later.  a struggling writer living in hollywood, a dreamer chasing the dream like the thousands of others whose paths brought them here to this place, to this moment.  it hasn't always been easy, and there are days when i question the choices i have made.  but today i remember where i was and how far i've come...

and most of all, today i remember to make the most of each day, because there's no way of knowing whether you'll get another one.