the reason for this rule is simple: you'll never be sure whether they are calling out your name or their name in bed.
you could be making sweet, sweet love with the most narcissistic person on the planet and you'd never know.
there are other problems to be sure, though usually these problems affect other people more than they affect you (e.g. figuring out how to differentiate between the two of you when trying to tell a story about something you all did together, figuring out how to avoid falling into an abbott and costello routine when calling to speak with one of you on the phone, figuring out how to take the right urine sample from the fridge and avoiding the awkward mix up that results in a man being told he's pregnant when he gets drug tested for work-- what? sometimes you have to rely on friends for clean urine), but they all pale in comparison to the dirty talk conundrum, which is what ultimately causes these things to go bad.
you may think i'm kidding about all this, but i assure you that i'm not.
getting into a relationship with someone who has the same first name as you is getting into a relationship that is doomed to fail.
don't get me wrong, in the few times in my life i've born witness to a friend starting a relationship with someone with the same first name as them, i always offer the same wishes for happiness and an enjoyable life together that i would for any of my friends dating people with different first names. but when the end comes, and inevitably it always does, i am never surprised.
in fact, i thought by now most people had basically come to accept this tenet as a universal truth.
but, apparently, i was mistaken.
meet kelly hildebrandt...and his fiance kelly hildebrandt.
that's right. these kids aren't even married yet and they share not one, but two of the same names...which takes this into an entirely new degree of creepy (something not even a hyphen can fix).
and how did this storybook romance begin. of course, via the internet.
it seems kelly (girl) was searching facebook to see how many other kelly hildebrandts there were out there in the virtual world, and it turned out the answer was only one. (boy) kelly hildebrandt.
naturally she sent him a message, and the rest, as they say, is history...
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well kelly and kelly, i wish you good luck and a lifetime of happiness together, but if (when) things go bad, don't say i didn't warn you and don't come crying to me.
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