Hairscut

i'm currently in the process of growing my hair out. i haven't decided yet how long i'm going to let it grow, but the longer i let it grow the curlier (read: jew fro) it gets, which i like.

once, from the fall of 2004 to the summer of 2005, i went about 9 months without a hairscut (yes, i say hairscut -- because i like to get more than one cut when i go, and both hair and hairs is the plural for hair, so i don't see why the word isn't or can't be hairscut). by the end my hair was pretty crazy. i probably won't let things get that out of hand this go around, but we'll see.

anyway, eventhough i'm growing my hair out i did go to the barber this morning. the reason being i wanted to get my neckline cleaned up and my sideburns trimmed/thinned out a bit as well.

normally for all my hairscutting needs i just go to Supercuts...this is because normally my hairscutting needs consist of a 2 on the sides and back, blended into a 3 up top with the electric razor.

today, however, i went to Floyd's 99 Barbershop.

it was an impromptu decision made while driving home from taking my brother to the airport this morning. i saw a sign advertising the burbank floyd's grand opening and decided to stop in.

now, before i proceed, i will say that the barber/stylist who cut my hair did a serviceable job (complete with shaving my neck line using a straight edge razor, which was very nice). not great, mostly because she was a bit keen to try to take off more than i wanted and i had to keep telling her to leave my hair alone, but for the most part it was fine (if i was keeping my hair short i would probably go back there next time i wanted a cut, but, seeing as how i'm not, i probably won't be visiting again anytime soon).

and now that those riveting details are out of the way, here's what made the trip worthwhile--

while cutting my hair the stylist asked me what i did for a living. i said i worked in the film industry. she then asked me if i knew anyone who was looking for any new reality tv programs. i told her i did not. at which point the conversation took a rather unexpected turn:

stylist: oh that's too bad. my cousin is crazy and she would be crazy on a reality tv show.

me: uh...

stylist: actually the show would have to be about her and her sister, my other cousin, who's retarted.

me: uh...

stylist: i'm serious yo, you have no idea the shit she does.

me: which one?

stylist: both of them. they're crazy.

me: i thought one of them was retarded.

stylist: i know right. just last night she didn't want to go to sleep so my cousin started hitting her and i was like, "don't hit her" and my cousin was like, "shut up she doesn't feel it, she's retarded" and i was like, "stupid, retarded people feel it when you hit them" and she was like, "how do you know what they feel, you're not retarded."

me: uh...

stylist: then she was like, let's see if she feels stuff and so she picked up a knife and she was gonna stab her or something and i was like, "girl, put that knife down" and she was like, "shut up, bitch" and then she chased my cousin around the house for like 10 minutes before finally giving up.

me: wow...

stylist: i know right, see i told you she should have her own reality show. wouldn't you watch that?

me: (long pause) yes?

stylist: yeah, i bet everyone would.

me: you know you could always videotape it and put it up on youtube or something and then maybe someone who is looking for a reality show might see it.

stylist: oh my god, i'm totally gonna videotape it.

and that's pretty much where the conversation and coincidentally the hairscut came to an end.

the bill for the cut was $14, i left her a $20...she had earned it.

and now i'm going to start searching youtube to see if anyone has uploaded any video in the last 12 hours featuring a retarded child being chased by her knife wielding sister.

stay tuned...