A

i am jewish (for those of you who were previously unaware). the fact that i am jewish, however, is not what i intend to discuss in this post (at least not directly).

what i do intend to discuss is santa claus, i mention that i am jewish in order to frame this discussion (or one way conversation or what have you) as coming from someone who does not and has never believed (nor had any reason to believe) in santa claus.

that said, the fact that i do not (nor have i ever) believe(d) in santa claus is also not what this post is about.

no, this post is about the fact that i am confused and am seeking clarification from someone (preferably a christian — or perhaps an english professor — i suppose ideally a christian english professor) as to whether or not i am grossly misunderstanding the title of NBC’s forthcoming holiday special, “The Year Without a Santa Claus.”

the way i see it (based on my understanding of both the english language and christmas) this title should be “The Year Without Santa Claus,” and there should be no “a” included.

the inclusion of said letter “a” leads me to believe that either:

1) there exists the possibility that my understanding of the man, Santa Claus, is not correct and that perhaps there is more than one Santa Claus.
or
2) there exists the possibility that my understanding of indefinite articles is not correct and the use of the “a” is absolutely fine.

i am, however, relatively certain that my desire to engage in a discussion over what may turn out to be a semantic point involving the letter “a” and Santa Claus has everything to do with my being a semite (in that sense i suppose this is a blog about my being jewish).

nevertheless.

let’s assume my understanding of christian religious iconography is correct at least so far as to conclude that there is only one (theoretical) Santa Claus.

now, i was always under the impression that although he could be referred to in any number of ways (St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, etc), being referred to as Santa Claus was one of these accepted and agreed upon designations.

therefore Santa Claus was and is a proper noun.

therefore the letter ‘a’ should not precede it. right?

(presumably) you would not say

A World Without A Jesus
Easter Without A(n) Easter Bunny
Eternity In Hell With A Satan
etc

that is unless you were referring to a proper noun of which there was more than one of in existence.

A Day Without A Mexican (a very thought provoking film i might add)
A Country Without A President
etc.

or unless you were referring to someone other than the actual figure. (i.e. she dressed up as an easter bunny for halloween. he has a jesus complex — which i don’t really know exactly what this would mean, but you get the point).

so perhaps this NBC special is not referring to the actual Santa Claus. maybe it’s a film about a town that passes an ordinance banning anyone from dressing up as or impersonating Santa…no, i just read the blurb, it’s about the “real” Santa Claus losing his faith in Christmas.

so, i’m back to square one. confused.

i’ve always stated my belief that one of the reasons why those of us of the jewish persuasion are so neurotic stems from childhood trauma over the winter holiday period.

see as christians you know that every year on Dec. 25th you will be celebrating christmas.

as jews we have to deal with the fact that there are umpteen different ways of spelling hanukkah (hanukah, hannukah, hannukka, chanukah, channukah, channukkah, chanukkah, etc.), and you never really know when precisely it will occur. it changes yearly.

for a kid that’s a lot to deal with. but deal with it we do.

but now, maybe, perhaps, there are some little christian children out there wondering if their understanding of Santa Claus (the very foundation of the holiday that provides them this stability to prevent years of confusion and stress) is incorrect.

and i worry about the fragile nature of their minds, and whether or not they can survive such a catastrophic shattering of their existence.

so, please, if anyone has any insight into what is what here, or can clarify and/or clear up any of my misconceptions do not hesitate to let me know.

think of the children.