Film

here we go…just in time before the final hours of ‘06 tick off, the top 10 list is complete (sort of - i still didn’t get to see pan’s labyrinth). anyways, just a note on selection, these picks don’t necessarily mean that i think these were the 10 most critically accomplished films of the year (i.e. the films that will/should be nominated for oscars), rather they represent the 10 films which i most enjoyed this past year.

let’s kick it.

10. The Fountain - darren aronofsky’s trippy, complex, science fiction love story of epic proportions. at times confusing, always visually breathtaking, this film was one were i left the theater feeling overwhelmed as if the film itself had permeated my consciousness. as opposed to wondering what it was about, all i could think of was how much it affected me.

9. Casino Royale - the latest bond flick was stripped of all the outrageous gimmicks that had held down and limited many of the recent 007 entries and what was left was the origins of the man whose last name is synonomous with action. daniel craig’s portrayal while perhaps not as iconic as connery’s will eventually be considered (in my opinion) the most complex and satisfying of anyone to ever utter the words, “bond, james bond.”

8. Letters From Iwo Jima - the second of two films by clint eastwood about the assault of the small island in the south pacific was another example of eastwood’s mastery of minimalist filmmaking. the story was moving, the stark, desaturated cinematography was beautiful and a perfect compliment to the subject matter. and in contrast to flags of our fathers, letters never strayed too far from the heart of the story with its structure and flashbacks and therefore was able to maintain a narrative flow much more engaging and satisfying then before.

7. Borat - easily the funniest film of the year, and perhaps in a while. sacha baron cohen’s portrayl is part sketch comedy, part improv, and part peformance art. by using his simple minded borat as a juxtaposition to those he interacts with, cohen turns a mirror on the society we live in to expose the comedy of outrageousness that exists among us throughout all slices of life.

6. Dreamgirls - a flashy, stylish, and mesmerizing musical that leaves you wanting to clap after perfomances as if you were seeing them live. the acting and singing are impressive and at times amazing, bill condon’s second venture into the film world of musicals (chicago) is far more successful in execution and enjoyable in all aspects then he he was previously able to accomplish, leaving dreamgirls as my favorite musical this side of moulin rouge.

5. The Descent - pure, unadulterated horror the classic way. with more attention paid to substance over style (not that it lacks in that department either), the descent is a film that leaves you on the edge of your seat and terrified and not just because of the monsters.

4. The Departed - classic scorsese. this top notch ensemble cast execute the remake of the hong kong action thriller “infernal affairs” impeccably. whether or not the film leads to scorsese receiving his first directing oscar is irrelevant, what it has proven is that he is still capable of making thrilling, violent, and complex films that leave you completely satisfied.

3. Little Children - full of oscar caliber performances, this adaptation of tom perrotta’s book of the same name (also the author of election) is an audacious, disturbing and darkly humorous take on difficult subject matter (including infedility and pedophilia). director todd field employs the use of a dry voice over that is one of the most effective uses of the technique (ironically enough, or perhaps not) this side of Election. with an end result being a film that is an unflinching and unscathing dissection of the darker sides that can be found in corners of the insulated worlds most people inhabit.

2. Brick - the most original vision of any film i saw this past year. rian johnson’s modern day noir set in and around the world of high school uses the conventions of classic noir but inserts them into a world that allows for his characters to exist in a setting that is not bound by the same constrictions often found in the genre. the story, the language, and the characters are at once familiar but also distinctly original. the result is refreshing, engaging, and intense.

1. United 93 - hands down the best film of the year. in my opinion if paul greengrass’s docudrama about the passengers aboard the september 11 flight that crashed in pennsylvania doesn’t get nominated and win best picture it will be a travesty. the film is gripping, brave, terrifying, and heart-wrenching all at once. though the outcome is set before we even begin to watch, we never for a moment stop hoping that perhaps the ending will not be what we already know to be true. the cinema verite style only adds to the tension and impact of this portrayal of the final hours of the lives of american citizens who upon the realization of their fates stood tall and made the ultimate sacrifice in answering the challenges that many people (not just americans) have faced throughout history in order to help ensure that a life of freedom for future generations is not only possible, but appreciated and embraced.

okay…happy new year to everyone reading…be safe and i wish you all a wonderful and healthy 2007. see you next year.

Music

so when i said the next three days obviously i meant the next three posts. which isn’t to say that i didn’t have every intention of compiling and posting said lists on consecutive days, but apparently i seemed to have underestimated the time it would take to attend to this task (this is probably compounded by laziness on my part — something which considering it was practically the basis for this very blog seems somewhat fitting to be bookending the year).

anyways. as i said the lists are slow in being finished and this can mostly be directly attributed to two things (not counting the laziness — which affects everything indirectly).

1) i was hoping to see Pan’s Labyrinth and The Good Shepherd before finalizing my top ten film list as there exists the possibility that either or both (most likely pan’s labyrinth from what i hear) might necessitate a spot on the list…and i have not (yet) seen them.

2) i came to the conclusion that compiling a top ten music list is an extremely difficult task, mostly because i have the tendency to (in no doubt facilitated by my ipod/itunes) listen to playlists/mixes and/or the music i like the most, repeatedly. which is to say, going back through the past year’s “albums” has proved a time consuming effort. as i, at times, have had to relisten to certain albums to recall just how much i liked the overall album, as opposed to the numerous songs from said album that can be found on several of these aforementioned ipod playlists.

nevertheless, i have my top ten music list finished it is as follows (you might notice that my descriptions of some of these albums are shorter than my descriptions for television and presumably for film — this is due mostly to the fact that i’m not quite as capable of talking about music critically in the same way that i am in -theoretically- capable of talking about film and tv…also i’m quite tired at the moment):

10. Classified - Hitch Hikin Music — underground hip hop/rap straight from the streets of nova scotia, canada, classified’s latest (his 11th for those keeping count at home) and arguably his best album is full of solid storytelling delivered with an even, effortless flow over some outstanding beats all produced by class.

9. Jenny Lewis With The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat — jenny lewis, also known as the lead singer of rilo kiley makes her solo debut here in one of the most enjoyable and impressive albums all year.

8. The Roots - Game Theory — everything that you would expect from one of the most musically gifted, consistent and diverse bands not only in hip hop but throughout the entire music industry today.

7. Every Move A Picture - Heart = Weapon — one of my favorite albums all year (obviously), but in a way that transcends inclusion on this list. with a sound reminiscent of Oingo Boingo updated for the year 2006, this album is from start to finish the type of music to make you bob your head unknowingly while you’re driving in the car.

6. Jude - Redemption — one of my favorite singer songwriters, he ranks right up with rufus wainwright for his ability to craft pop melodies that are both simple in scope and complex in their arrangements. has drawn comparisons to jason mraz for his wordplay and lyrical style, but on closer inspection his music is revealed to be far more interesting and his songs much more impactful.

5. The Dears - Gang Of Losers — another band hailing from our neighbors up north, though from montreal this time. the dears are one of the few remaining bands from the last few years who’s band name starts with the word the that i still enjoy listening to. they play orchestral pop and their lead singer sounds like and writes like morrissey.

4. Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood — part of the new pornographers family, neko case’s latest cd is an outstanding selection of alt-country and americana music that features haunting melodies along with her devestating voice.

3. Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere — musically unlike anything else that came out this year. i’m sure almost all of you reading this have heard the cd, and realize that nothing i could write here could truly describe the uniqueness (is that a word?) of their work.

2. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife — one of my all time favorite bands’ latest release is nothing short of spectacular. first and foremost colin meloy (lead singer) is a storyteller and the songs on this album do not disappoint in this area. encompassing styles ranging from pop to ballad, the crane wife (and all work by the decemberists) is not to be missed.

1. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit — cross out the “one of” and you have my all time favorite band’s latest release. the album is absolutely and utterly amazing from start to finish, and is definitely their most accessible record to date. full of pop rock songs that will get stuck in your head for weeks, i implore you to check out this album (and others by b&s) and i defy you not to love them.

okay…that is all…but before i go i leave you with this…

problems in logic:

never trust a big butt and a smile
that girl is poison.

but what if the girl tells you not to trust her?

TV

ah…the final days of 2006 are upon us. inevitably, this means it is the time of the year to look back and reflect on the days passed. it also (apparently means) it is time for top 10 lists.

everywhere i look it seems like people are using these final days of the year (except letterman - he’s consistent with his top 10 lists all year round) to assemble top 10 lists for everything imaginable.

in theory, i like the idea of a top ten list as it often allows me to see if perhaps i might have missed something worth checking out. however, inherently, top 10 lists are flawed because they are subjective, and therefore are subject to including things that i think suck (or at the least just not as good as things that were left off said lists).

so, in the spirit of the times i will be compiling my top ten lists over the next 3 days to share with you my thoughts on the past year’s best in tv, music, and film. and as i said these being subjective lists feel free to disagree with my views.

anyways…first off will be television, mostly because this one is the (in my opinion) easiest to think of. but, before i reveal my picks i must preface them with a disclaimer. this is the fact that while i do watch a shitload of television, i do not watch every show and so obviously my picks are limited to shows that i watch, which admittedly is probably more than most and probably includes most of the one’s worth watching.

that said my list will be absent of two shows that i suspect might have been on there under different circumstances — that being The Wire and Battlestar Galactica. said circumstances are due to the fact that these are two shows that i have only recently begun watching (on dvd - during this rerun down period that the holidays provide). so while I can speak to the first season and miniseries respectively of the these two aformentioned shows (both unbelievably good), i cannot comment on there most recent/current seasons that have aired during 2006 — therefore they cannot be included.

okay. one last note about selection, since this list represents the best of 2006, meaning calender year, it is open to any show that aired during the months between last january and now. which will technically include shows from last season of television. however, i am not going to include shows that are a) from last season and no longer on the air - like Invasion which was one of the finest shows on television last fall/spring or b) only ran for a limited number of episodes in 2006 - like Thief the fx show/miniseries which was outstanding, or Arrested Development - one of the greatest shows ever which had it’s final episodes aired last february (though i suppose that arrested also falls under category a).

anyways.

so, now, without further ado…

The Top 10 Shows On TV

10. Lost - between the conclusion of last season and the start of this season the show has been uneven, frustrating, and poorly spaced out, hampering it’s ability to sustain any sort of narrative continuity or pacing. that said, when it’s on it remains one of the most intriguing and well-made hours of television ever. the fact that i (along with many others) can get so annoyed with the show when it’s not delivering like it’s capable only speaks to the promise and potential it has displayed in the past 2+ seasons, and it still remains one of the shows that i am most looking forward to returning in the new year.

9. Rescue Me - denis leary and peter tolan’s fx series is one of the hardest shows on television to classify. while i suppose technically considered a drama, it is also one of the funniest shows on television - albeit, only for those who appreciate dark comedy, which i do. morbidly funny would certainly be an appropriate term for a show whose subject matter often includes topics not found anywhere else on television (including but not limited to: death, alcoholism, infidelity, rape, homosexuality, and life as a firefighter in nyc post 9/11). but, regardless of the subject matter the show is always well-written and denis leary’s performance for the last 3 seasons has been consistently one of the best on television.

8. Dexter - this brilliant new showtime series was one of the most enjoyable hours on television this fall. at first i was hesistant to add another show into the rotation, but thankfully i gave the show a chance, and it certainly was a good thing that i did. similar in many respects to Rescue Me as far as the darkly humorous tone is concerned, this drama about a forensic police officer serial killer who kills serial killers has a ton of potential as the series progresses, and i am anxiously awaiting the second season.

7. The Office - the first comedy on the list, technically/traditionally speaking, though nothing about this show’s comedy is traditional. relying on the unspoken to provide much of the show’s best moments, the ensemble cast is by far the best collection of comedic talent on television (as also evidenced by how many cast members work as writers on the show as well). yet, like other shows on the list, though a comedy and oftentimes hysterical, the show is also about more than being funny, it’s about interacting with others a task that is often difficult if not painful, but due to the grace and talent of the cast and writers never false or cartoonish.

6. Heroes - conceptually speaking this is hands down my favorite show on television. the first half of the show’s first season has been breathtaking and thrilling, and it has set up a second half that if it remains true to form might provide the most enjoyable television watching this spring. the only things holding it back right now in my opinion are the delicate balancing act between the members of the large ensemble cast, some of who’s storylines are weaker than others, that occasionally leads to uneven episodes (or perhaps more accurately - uneven parts of episodes). also, there marketing campaigns are really annoying — but, i suppose the show itself isn’t to blame.

5. Friday Night Lights - along with Heroes this show is my favorite new show on television. the show which has the basic premise of what life is like playing high school football in the state of texas, is in actuality about much more than just football. it is a show about life, love, friendship, growing up, making mistakes, and about overcoming the obstacles that are put in front of us by no choice of our own. and all of these things are portrayed in a gritty, realistic way that never minimalizes the everyday problems that the characters face, while also tackling (no pun intended) the major ones that come their way.

4. 24 - last season’s 24 was quite possibly the finest season yet for the show. most of the cringe-inducing plot points (kim bauer, cougar, heroin addictions, etc) were all disposed off and the show was left with a lean intensity that never seemed to slow down when it came to action, thrills, and twists. and though at times the show borders on being propoganda for the bush administration’s policy on torture and when it’s necessary (pretty much always in the world of jack bauer), the show nevertheless never really tries to be deliberately political or philosophical as this would mean time that would have to be spent taking away from the action.

3. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia - without a doubt the funniest fucking show on television. perhaps the funniest show since seinfeld, and at times, yes, funnier. the show’s second season (with the inclusion of danny devito) really hit its stride, as the writing got stronger and the scenes truly turned into well-crafted episodes as opposed to moments of hilarity as was occasionally the case in the first season. in contrast to say Rescue Me’s use of taboo topics for darkly comedic moments, It’s Always Sunny is built entirely on the premise of using the same topics as the basis for entire episodes. racism, patriotism, homosexuality, abortion, the middle east, incest, pedophilia, and the handicapped to name a few, provide the basis for plotlines that leave me at times crying from laughter.

2. The Shield - in reality, The Shield is probably 1a, as the truth of the matter is that no show on television is as gripping, well-written, well-acted, and well-directed as The Shield is from episode to episode. the show takes place in a world of grey where morality, ethics, and the line between right and wrong are things that exist but in an ever shifting state to accomodate and serve whatever the current situation dictates. the show asks viewers to essentially identify with a cop (and his crew) who is at best corrupt and at worst no better than the criminals he is trying to put away.

1. Deadwood - david milch’s tension soaked western/drama will go down in my opinion as one of the greatest shows ever to air on television. the show’s premise of life in the frontier town for which the show is named in the dakota territories circa the 1870s doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface as to what the show is/was about. the show, while touching on topics ranging from violence, death, profanity, sex, growth, expansion, technology, alliances, race, corruption, to so much more, was often less about the occurence of these things then it was more so about their very possibility. all portrayed in a lyrical style with some of the most impressive dialogue ever uttered and captured by film. the decision not to continue with another season of the show was one of the greatest disappointments for me this past year (as least so far as television is concerned), and though some small measure of comfort can be taken in knowing that two two-hour tv movies are in the works, it will be extremely difficult to fill the sense of satisfaction and awestruck admiration that an hour of Deadwood left me with.

A Thin Line

there is a thin line between cool and pathetic.

case in point, this afternoon while i was grocery shopping there was a middle-aged man (i’ll guestimate 50) wearing a t-shirt with a logo of a car. above said car were the words, “my other ride is your mother.”

now, believe me, i am as guilty as anyone of wearing semi-ironic t-shirt designs from time to time, but i like to think that (even if i’m still living in los angeles) by the time i reach this age i will have given up on trying to dress like a hipster (which isn’t really why i wear these t-shirts now — usually it’s because they are really comfortable due to the type of cotton they’re made from — and that said, i don’t have any shirts proclaiming that i ride anything).

because the only thing that went through my mind upon seeing this guy was that he was absolutely pathetic for trying to pull this shirt off.

first off, let’s consider how this violates one of the primary principles of comedy (something obviously he was attempting to convey with a shirt containing such a “witty” slogan). things that are (or might be) true, generally aren’t as funny. therefore when a guy wearing a t-shirt that says, “my other ride is your mother” is actually around the same age as my mother, where is the comedy in that? It’s just strange.

of course, since the t-shirt didn’t say alex’s mother, it was generic, let’s consider another possibility. was he intending the comment to be read by his peers? is his other ride an 80 year old woman? see, now it’s just creepy.

there’s really no interpration of that slogan that is going to justify his wearing it.

that said, now let us investigate the possibilities of this same t-shirt on an 80 year old man.

now that would be both ironic and funny…and I would say therefore that this was a man walking with both feet firmly implanted on the cool side of the line.

in the same way if the guy’s shirt said my other ride is your grandmother, i probably would have laughed. come to think of it, i think that t-shirt would be universally funny. No matter what age the person was who was wearing it, it would work.

picture it on a 14 year old
picture it on a 25 year old
picture it on a 50 year old
picture it on a 80 year old.

funny every time (and yes there is a difference between the 50 year old wearing the mother shirt if i interpret it as being directed towards his peers and thereby meaning 80 year old women as opposed to the 50 year old wearing the grandmother shirt. mostly due to the fact that if he’s wearing the grandmother shirt it’s a conscious decision on his part to put out the message that he fucks grandmothers, and that’s funny.)

but, alas, there are no, “my other ride is your grandmother” t-shirts out there (yet).

A

i am jewish (for those of you who were previously unaware). the fact that i am jewish, however, is not what i intend to discuss in this post (at least not directly).

what i do intend to discuss is santa claus, i mention that i am jewish in order to frame this discussion (or one way conversation or what have you) as coming from someone who does not and has never believed (nor had any reason to believe) in santa claus.

that said, the fact that i do not (nor have i ever) believe(d) in santa claus is also not what this post is about.

no, this post is about the fact that i am confused and am seeking clarification from someone (preferably a christian — or perhaps an english professor — i suppose ideally a christian english professor) as to whether or not i am grossly misunderstanding the title of NBC’s forthcoming holiday special, “The Year Without a Santa Claus.”

the way i see it (based on my understanding of both the english language and christmas) this title should be “The Year Without Santa Claus,” and there should be no “a” included.

the inclusion of said letter “a” leads me to believe that either:

1) there exists the possibility that my understanding of the man, Santa Claus, is not correct and that perhaps there is more than one Santa Claus.
or
2) there exists the possibility that my understanding of indefinite articles is not correct and the use of the “a” is absolutely fine.

i am, however, relatively certain that my desire to engage in a discussion over what may turn out to be a semantic point involving the letter “a” and Santa Claus has everything to do with my being a semite (in that sense i suppose this is a blog about my being jewish).

nevertheless.

let’s assume my understanding of christian religious iconography is correct at least so far as to conclude that there is only one (theoretical) Santa Claus.

now, i was always under the impression that although he could be referred to in any number of ways (St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, etc), being referred to as Santa Claus was one of these accepted and agreed upon designations.

therefore Santa Claus was and is a proper noun.

therefore the letter ‘a’ should not precede it. right?

(presumably) you would not say

A World Without A Jesus
Easter Without A(n) Easter Bunny
Eternity In Hell With A Satan
etc

that is unless you were referring to a proper noun of which there was more than one of in existence.

A Day Without A Mexican (a very thought provoking film i might add)
A Country Without A President
etc.

or unless you were referring to someone other than the actual figure. (i.e. she dressed up as an easter bunny for halloween. he has a jesus complex — which i don’t really know exactly what this would mean, but you get the point).

so perhaps this NBC special is not referring to the actual Santa Claus. maybe it’s a film about a town that passes an ordinance banning anyone from dressing up as or impersonating Santa…no, i just read the blurb, it’s about the “real” Santa Claus losing his faith in Christmas.

so, i’m back to square one. confused.

i’ve always stated my belief that one of the reasons why those of us of the jewish persuasion are so neurotic stems from childhood trauma over the winter holiday period.

see as christians you know that every year on Dec. 25th you will be celebrating christmas.

as jews we have to deal with the fact that there are umpteen different ways of spelling hanukkah (hanukah, hannukah, hannukka, chanukah, channukah, channukkah, chanukkah, etc.), and you never really know when precisely it will occur. it changes yearly.

for a kid that’s a lot to deal with. but deal with it we do.

but now, maybe, perhaps, there are some little christian children out there wondering if their understanding of Santa Claus (the very foundation of the holiday that provides them this stability to prevent years of confusion and stress) is incorrect.

and i worry about the fragile nature of their minds, and whether or not they can survive such a catastrophic shattering of their existence.

so, please, if anyone has any insight into what is what here, or can clarify and/or clear up any of my misconceptions do not hesitate to let me know.

think of the children.

Weekend Recap

a big hearty welcome to Dominic Monaghan who is the latest addition to the list of celebrities i have seen. spotted inside the Arclight lobby this past saturday as my brother and i were exiting after having seen Stranger Than Fiction (very enjoyable), he was standing in line to buy tickets (to what, i’m unsure).

otherwise the rest of the weekend was enjoyable and (as usual) low key. i also saw Babel (ehh), and watched Kicking and Screaming (the noah baumbach version - which was quite good and recommended to anyone who liked The Squid and The Whale).

this week is going along swimmingly so far, as i’ve been getting back into the regular routine of my life in los angeles…which coincidentally (or perhaps not) is strikingly similar to my life when i was not in la (a bit more writing with less weddings and golf).

tomorrow one of my all time favorite films (Bernardo Bertolucci’s Il Conformista aka The Confromist). is finally being released on dvd so needless to say i’m excited. for those of you who appreciate a good flick, check out this Italian masterpiece, you will not be disappointed (if you are, then you’re stupid).

now it is time to get ready for this evening’s television, and so i bid you all adieu.

The Weather Is Wonderful

hey kids.

happy belated thanksgiving to you all and welcome to december. i’m back in la after my extended trip to the east coast for some (extremely enjoyable) weddings in nyc and (also enjoyable) thanksgiving festivities in the f-l-a.

all in all good times. though, needless to say, the trips were not entirely without incident (i am really beginning to wonder if these things happen more often when i’m around, or if i’m just more prone to noticing).

anyways. the first such incident occurred on my flight from newark to ft. lauderdale shortly before thanksgiving. upon boarding the plane i noticed several passengers wearing surgical masks. now my initial thoughts were that these people were just germophobes and the notion of being trapped in a giant tomb of bacteria (an airplane) for several hours was too much to bear without the use of a filter (something which i could totally respect). however, this soon proved to be not entirely accurate, as shortly before departing the stewardess came over the intercom and spoke the following:

“good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, today several of our passengers onboard have an extremely severe allergy to peanuts and so we will only be able to serve potato chips or our dorito mix for snacking on, and we ask that if any passengers have packed a meal that may contain peanuts that you please refrain from eating it while onboard. we apologize for any inconvenience and should be on our way shortly. thank you.”

okay, first off, being that jetblue’s entire inflight meal service is built around the bring your own meal model this seems like information that might be worth mentioning to passengers before getting on to the plane. like, say, perhaps, in the terminal, when customers might (in theory) be deciding between buying a turkey sandwich or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat in an hour...or in the event that they had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with them they would have the time/ability to find an alternative/suitable substitute before boarding (no, i was not affected by either scenario — i had purchased a turkey sandwich in the first place. that said, i did consider the idea of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before leaving my parents' house only to decide in the end that i was too lazy to make a sandwich and would instead buy one once arriving at the airport. laziness 1 - frugality 0).

my point being i would have been (probably more than) slightly annoyed had i been stuck on a 3 hour flight with only potato chips and dorito mix as sustenance. however, my annoyance (probably) would have paled in comparison to someone who was dying from exposure to peanuts (i say probably because there's just no way of knowing how annoyed i would have been...a lot would have depended on how hungry i was).

so my next question is, if you have that great an allergy to peanuts (one that requires the use of surgical masks and pleas to fellow airline passengers to refrain from consuming peanuts or peanut based products less the particles become airborne and kill you in order to allow for group travel) don’t you think that perhaps you might want to rethink the method of transportation you're using in order to arrive at your holiday destination?

the next incident occurred the wednesday evening before thanksgiving. my family got some chinese food take in for dinner. upon finishing the meal i cracked open a fortune cookie and was graced with the following words of wisdom, “the weather is wonderful.”

what the fuck?

not only was this not a fortune, but it was patently false. it was really, really cold outside (esp. for south florida), and rainy. perhaps it was meant in a more metaphoric sense i.e. a gauge of my temperament. but again this would've been false, and nevermore so than after receiving a fortune stating the weather is wonderful.

the last thing that occurred happened on the flight back to los angeles. this one didn’t really affect me directly, but i think it deserves note nevertheless. in the middle of the flight the stewardess came over the intercom and asked for anyone on board who was a doctor or a physician to push their call button as there was a health emergency with one of the passengers.

generally speaking these words are probably the 2nd worst thing to hear from a stewardess in midflight (behind only, “if anyone on board is a pilot or has any flying experience please push the call button.”).

this is because health emergencies on long flights always raise the possibility of having to divert to another airport so that the sick person can be rushed to the hospital, or worse someone dying midflight and once again having to divert so that the dead body can be removed (and you thought being stuck onboard with the potential to breath in air circulating with peanut particles was hazardous to your health). thankfully, whatever the emergency was, we did not have to divert and therefore no serious delays occurred…though we did have to stay on the plane upon landing for several more minutes so that emt’s could get the sick person off first.

and that about sums up my last 3 weeks.