I cut my finger this evening. sliced it open on the part of the aluminum foil box that is normally used to help tear the foil off cleanly. it hurt. however, i will not let it affect my good mood. why am i in a good mood you ask? because today i read that paris hilton has decided to become celibate for the next year.
this is, in fact, some of the greatest news i’ve heard in a long time. i know the odds are slim, but perhaps paris will find the celibate life so rewarding and fulfilling that she’ll decide to keep it up for longer than a year. maybe she’ll eventually decide that this is how she wants to live the rest of her life. this would be the greatest thing ever, as this would mean that she will bare no offspring.
the world is already a whole lot worse off now that britney spears is popping out babies left and right…perhaps if paris hilton decides to never have children this will help to balance out the number of people who are doing all they can to destroy the solid principles of darwinism that are supposed to help us get better/stronger/smarter in the future.
sure, we’re still one of the greatest nations in the world at the moment…but you wait and see how great we are the more britney and k-fed contribute to the gene pool.
so, if paris hilton can somehow manage to keep this up, i for one will never again say that she has not done anything for the greater good.
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