Stay Classy

So, i have a few minutes to spend some time on my floor and do some blogging…needless to say the no router thing is now the new issue in my otherwise (mostly) uneventful day to day existence…of course, since fixing this problem requires nothing more than going out to a store and picking up a new one, i really don’t have any reason to be annoyed.

I suppose in some way I was just kinda hoping that the old router would decide to start working again and thereby release me of the task of having to go out to get a new one.

Anyways…

As I mentioned in my last post, this past Saturday my brother and I made the drive down to Saint Diego to see the Mets come into town to play the Padres. All in all a great time, as is the case for any baseball game. The Mets won and Pedro threw a gem, striking out 11 on his way to the W.

Petco Park is an absolutely gorgeous ballpark and San Diego is definitely a nice place to see a game. One of the cooler things about the game was that the Padres were celebrating Military Night (San Diego is a big miliary town with Camp Pendleton a few miles away) and so there were a lot of military personnel on hand to enjoy the game. So, as part of the celebration the Navy Seals Frog Jumpers parachuted into the stadium before the game began. It was pretty amazing to see these guys jump out of an airplane and make their way down into the ballpark at speeds of excess of 60mph.

The other highlight from the game was that in between the 5th and 6th inning as the grounds crew was raking the infield dirt one of the crew members dropped his rake and broke into an (i assume) impromptu dance routine on the outfield grass. Soon the music was pumping and he got put up on the jumbotron as he busted out a whole bunch of sweet 80s moves including the running man and some sprinkler arm action.

Otherwise, not much else is going on my way…i’ve been spending the majority of my time writing (even more than usual), as i’m trying to finish up some stuff for a few competitions that i am entering with deadlines of May 1st. So, it looks like the next few days will bring more of the same…

I will, however, be sure to take some time to break for the NFL draft this weekened (or at least the Jets’ and Giants’ picks).

so until next time…thanks for stopping by.

A Few Minutes On My Floor

Hey everybody…

So, here I am, back online to update my blog and also back on my floor (internet access is still only available by connecting the ethernet cable directly to the computer).

As you might have inferred from my previous comment, there has been no purchase of a new router…yet.

It’s a little after 9:30pm (PST), and normally I would be watching Lost right now…however, Lost is not on television this evening. A 2 hour Alias is on instead (a show that I do not watch), so I figured it was a good time to post. At 10pm Invasion comes on (a show that i do watch) so don’t worry about me, I’ll be able to still get some quality tv viewing time in this evening.

Eventhough i’m not watching tv at the moment, the tv is on in the other room, because i was flipping around while i ate dinner. So, as i type i can still hear the sounds of Predator emanating from my living room. Predator is of course one of the all time classic eighties movies, and my second favorite movie ever to feature two future governors (Arnold and Jessie) as cast members. The Running Man is my favorite — man is that movie outstanding (seriously, when was the last time you saw it, go rewatch it, it’s fantastic). The only other movie - so far - that has two future governors as cast members is Batman & Robin — and I don’t like that movie at all.

I’m not sure what any of this means.

Anyways…i don’t really have too much else to report. This Saturday, I’m going with my brother down to San Diego as the Mets are coming to town to play the Padres. Pedro’s pitching Saturday night and we’ve got pretty good seats, so it should be a good time.

Presumably i’ll talk more about it after I get back.

alright…it’s fast approaching 10pm, so it’s probably best if i take my leave and go settle into my chair for some quality tv time.

until next time…who love’s you and who do you love? (that’s from Running Man for anyone who didn’t know — and the answer is Gideon)

If It's Not One Thing...

So, the bad news is that my internet wasn’t working for the past several days…

The good news is that this time the internet being down had nothing to do with any more apartment flooding (which, the more I think about, seems pretty sad that my apartment not flooding lately is something that deserves mention as good news).

No, the reason for my internet troubles is now due to a router that appears to no longer work.

Currently i am running the ethernet cable from the modem directly into my computer, which is thereby allowing me access to the internet…however, it is also (due to the length of said cable and location of the modem) necessitating my sitting on the floor in my room in a rather uncomfortable postion in order to type this post (let it not be said that i don’t go to great lengths to keep you, my faithful readers updated on my life).

I suppose in the next few days a new router will be purchased and hopefully wireless internet access will once again be operational. To be honest, I was actually beginning to go through internet withdrawal…not being able to get online and get access to everything that’s going on in the world for a few days really was quite difficult. In fact, had I not been able to get access soon, I might have resorted to taking my computer down to Starbucks or something in order to get online…of course, that would have meant I would have been one of those people who spend an extended amount of time in Starbucks sitting in front of my computer with a cup of coffee pretending like i’m doing something important, something which i always am bothered by whenever i’m in one of their establishments (no matter what anyone tells me I am of the firm belief that you cannot get much accomplished by choosing Starbucks as your workspace - or for that matter anyplace where coffee and scones are sold in mass quantities).

Anyways….until i get my wireless back posting might remain somewhat sporadic…but do not be sad, instead rejoice in the glory that is this post.

Now that I’ve gotten my explanation out of the way i’d like to take a few moments to address some comments I received about a post i made a few weeks ago (about Tony Soprano and his use - or rather lack thereof - of EZ Pass).

My friend Jeff wrote:

I would have to disagree about the tony soprano ez pass thing. I actually think he would prefer not to have easy pass, because that would enable a way to track where he was traveling since it deducts from his account when he travels through. Seeing the nature of his business, one would think that although he would not want to sit in traffic at a toll booth on the turnpike, he realizes that the risk/reward of ez pass just is not worth it.

Well, Jeff…I have considered your position, but i would have to respectfully disagree…I was thinking about this a lot, and I came to the conclusion that if Tony were to take the time to think about EZ Pass and reach the conclusions that you have posited above, he would also be able to realize that EZ Pass does not track people’s whereabouts, merely account activity. Therefore, he could set the account up through one of his business holdings (like the garbage truck company - which he also relies on for his health insurance and W2 or the Bada Bing - which he relies on for his strippers) as opposed to setting up a personal family account, and then he wouldn’t need to concern himself with whether or not his activity could ever be directly tied to his personal whereabouts.

In other news, i’m not sure if any of you have read about the guy in Oklahoma accussed of killing a 10 year old girl as part of his elaborate plan to “kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse then dispose of the organs and bones.”

if you haven’t yet heard about it feel free to check out the story here: http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/04/16/underwood.ap/index.html

the reason I bring this up is that the accused, 26 year old Kevin Ray Underwood, apparently kept a blog in which he discussed some of his fantasies, including cannibalism.

now…don’t get me wrong, i’m glad that this guy (if he’s guilty - which considering the dead girl in his bathtub seems likely) has been arrested. And, of course, i’m all for freedom of speech and using the medium of a blog to let others know what’s on your mind and all…but, i think it’s safe to say that when your blog contains posts like, “If people knew the kinds of things I think about anymore, I’d probably be locked away. No probably about it, I know I would be.” Well, then it’s probably time to stop posting said thoughts onto a blog whose very purpose is precisely to let others know what sort of things you are thinking about.

I don’t know…maybe that’s just me. Rest assured however, i have no thoughts - stated or otherwise - about planning to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse then dispose of the organs and bones (that is of course other than that the all of the above is wrong).

In Honor Of Bradley Whitford

well…the weekend has come and gone, and needless to say no great adventures happened. mostly because i spent a lot of time writing - which is at least productive - but also because (as predicted) I was lazy, and there was baseball on.

however, there was one important adventure this weekend that was resolved…that being Jimmy Smith (aka Matt Santos) winning the fictional presidential election on The West Wing. Now for those of who might suggest that the presidential election on the West Wing doesn’t count as important or an adventure, I ask you to reconsider…after all, the fate of the fictional world was at stake.

unfortunately, the show is coming to a close, and therefore the Matt Santos administration will never have the chance to make the fictional universe a better place.

one of the things i’ll miss most about the end of the show is Bradley Whitford’s character, Josh Lyman, who would have been in line to be Chief of Staff in the Santos administration…throughout the history of the show, Josh has been one of the most compelling and interesting characters, and in my opinion he has really carried the show this past season.

those of you familiar with Whitford, know that he has also written several episodes for the West Wing, and whenever he appears on Real Time With Bill Maher (somewhat frequently) he is always intelligent and very informed about all the issues that concern our society.

knowing that Whitford is so intelligent and informed (and seeing him interact outside of his character) had led me to believe that although his acting is good - it was hard to label him as a good actor, mainly due to the fact that his character on the show shares a lot of the same traits as the man himself.

however, the other day, i came to my senses and realized that Bradley Whitford is not just a good actor, he is an outstanding one.

I was reminded of a little movie called Revenge Of The Nerds II: Nerds In Paradise. In which Whitford plays the evil Alpha Beta president, Roger. Who is not only an evil, asshole, hell-bent on destroying the Nerds’ way of life, but he is also, clearly a Republican. And though he basically reprises this role in Billy Madison, I like to think that Nerds II is the greater display of his acting chops.

Thankfully, Whitford has signed on to the new Aaron Sorkin show, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip (the show i am most excited about for next fall), and so although the Wing is coming to a close, we will all have many more opportunities to admire and enjoy the acting skills of the man who once so eloquently said:

“OK. Maybe I did. What are you gonna do about it, Skolnick? You gonna make a little speech? It’s not gonna do any good. Wanna know why? Because I’m strong and you’re weak. Because I’m the type of guy that everybody here wants to be like, and you are pathetic. That’s the way it is. That’s the way it’s always gonna be, and there’s nothing you or your pencil-neck geek friends can do or say about it. Comprende, dickhead?”

In other news…i had a dentist appointment today…you will all be happy to know that i had zero cavities…go me.

My 50th

This is the 50th post i’ve made since starting this blog some 3+ months ago. And considering that my main source of motivation in starting said blog was laziness, I think 50 posts in that time period is pretty good.

I was hoping to come up with something special in honor of this, my 50th post, but - mostly due to time constraints being the middle of the week and all - I didn’t really have to much time today to do anything worth writing about special enough to lay sole claim to the honor of being my 50th post. So, instead, you will all have to settle for a sort of look back post as we walk down memory lane at all the things my blog has touched on in these past few months (perhaps this weekend i will embark on an adventure that would have been worthy of sole claim to the 50th post - of course at that point it will no longer be my 50th post, so perhaps i’ll just sit around and watch baseball - that whole laziness thing will probably dictate, but i’ll try).

Anyways…

For those of you who are wondering, things in my apartment are currently dry, but remain unresolved. The plumber still hasn’t set up a second appointment (or third if you count the time he canceled) to come and open up the ceiling to see about figuring out why it rains inside periodically. I suspect that there is a greater chance of the rain coming again before the problem is fixed…I’ve pretty much resigned myself to this, in fact. My only hope is that it either comes a) on a night in which I am not doing anything of significant importance the next day (and seeing as how the number of days in which i doing something of significant importance are few and far between I should be okay here - of course there’s nothing like the sweet taste of irony to look forward to) or b) on a night in which the plumber worked really hard that day and has an early appointment the next morning so that I can call him up at 2 am (which is when the rain usually comes) and have him come out here (as he said he would) to look at the leak. The way I see it, if i have to be inconvenienced by this (which is partially due to his inability to figure out what’s wrong and also his slow response in attending to the issue) then so should he.

The ants in my bathroom have all but disappeared. And to be honest, I’m slightly torn by their departure. Sure, there’s nothing more annoying then feeling an ant crawl up your leg while your trying to go to the bathroom, but i honestly believe that if given the chance the ants and I could have found a way to communicate and coexist peacefully.

My shower shaving mirror on the other hand is still possessed. It’s actually gotten much worse in the last few weeks. There have been several instances when I have been awoken in the middle of the night by the blue LED light flickering in my otherwise dark room. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have to buy a new shower mirror in the next few days (one without a light this time), the only thing that has stopped me so far has been…that’s right you guessed it…laziness.

I’m still planning on trying to attend a City Council meeting sometime in the upcoming future…although since all my apartment issues have arisen and my future residency in Santa Monica is now very uncertain I’m somewhat undecided if I want to attend a meeting in Santa Monica or if I should just wait to dedicate myself to whichever part of LA i wind up in next…again this is also tearing me up inside - as you all know how much work i’ve put in already to establish myself as, according to the mayor’s office, “One of Santa Monica’s outstanding citizens.”

Otherwise things have been rather quiet out here on the western front. I think that I’m going to have to shake some things up in the near future…not that I dislike my normal routine of wake up, go to the gym, sit in front of my computer for 7 hours, sit in front of my tv for 4 hours, then go to bed…but, I think (ne, I know) there’s a lot more to this city to be experienced, and who knows what tomorrow may hold, so now is not the time to be complacent, but rather the time to get out and experience all that i can….

What will happen in my next 50 posts…

Stay tuned.

Oh yeah…my coffee table is still kick ass.

My Report From Backstage At Jimmy Kimmel

Did you watch last night? If you did, then you saw my brother’s friend, Anthony, kill on Kimmel (which for a comedian is a good thing and has nothing to do with the taking of other people’s lives).

Overall yesterday was a very good time, and as expected hanging out in the Green Room was quite a bit of fun.

My brother and I got to the El Capitain in Hollywood a little before 6pm for the taping. We were a little bit on the early side, so we spent about 15 min. walking around on Hollywood Blvd. to kill time. Now, for those of you who have never been on Hollywood Blvd. before, it is, for lack of a more descriptive adjective, interesting to say the least. There were, lots of tourists taking pictures, some street performers, people proselytizing, a man in a spiderman costume, a man in a pirate costume, a man dressed like freddy kruger (although honestly i’m just assuming that the spiderman and freddy were men - i couldn’t see either one’s face due to their masks), a group of four people with giant pythons around their shoulders, and lots of homeless kids (young adults) asking for money.

Out of all of these things, the thing that I found the most strange was the homeless kids. Not the fact that they were homeless per se, but the fact that they almost all were dressed identically (plaid pants or torn jeans, leather jackets and lots of patches on their clothes) and many of them had colored mohawk haircuts. I couldn’t help but wonder a) how much it cost to maintain those haircuts - presumably more then i would spend on my hair if i were homeless and b) how much it cost to get those clothes - again the same thing. The homeless people I’m used to all look really unkempt in their grooming, and usually their clothes look exactly what you might assume someone living on the street would be wearing (as opposed to someone at a Clash concert circa 1980).

Anyways…

At around 6:15 my brother and I checked in backstage at the theater (where we were given these wristbands) and proceeded on to the Green Room.

Upon entering the Green Room, the first thing I noticed was that the Green Room was, in fact, not at all Green. Most of the walls were more of an off grey, and one wall was red. It basically looked like a VIP room in a really nice club. Dim lighting, leather seats, huge couches, giant flat screen televisions, lots of candles, a pool table, and arcade games (including Ms. Pac Man and Pinball), along with a bar and a food spread.

At this point the NCAA finals were about to begin so my brother and I began to take advantage of the couches, free alcohol, and the food (which consisted of mini bagels w/ cream cheese, lox, and chives, chicken quesadillas, curried turkey sandwiches, mini potato latkes w/ sour cream, fruit, vegetables w/ dip, cookies, and brownies).

We continued hanging out, eating, and boozing until around 8pm. At that point the show taping began and so the NCAA game was shut off and the live feed from the studio was patched in, and from there on we watched the show tape (while also continuing to eat and drink).

As I mentioned already Seth Green was the main guest for the evening, and as you’ll notice by his addition to my List Of Celebrities I Have Seen list he was in fact in the Green Room for part of the evening before and after the show. The one thing that I will say about Seth Green is that he is really, really short. I know watching him on television he looks short, but I will tell you that in person he is even shorter.

The other addition to the list, Bobcat Goldthwait, is the director for the show (something that I was not aware of until last night). But I am a huge fan of his and have been ever since Police Academy 2, so I was extremely happy to see him. If anyone watched the show you might be wondering if I also saw Chop and John Anderson (the other guests last night). I did, but they are not, based on my already established criteria, eligible for inclusion on the list (Also, I did not see Jimmy, but I did see Guillermo the security guard who has his own segment on the show - however, he too is not quite up to list status).

Anyways, after the show taping ended we hung around for about another hour backstage before heading across the street to the Roosevelt Hotel where a suite was waiting to host the afterparty.

The afterparty consisted of more of the same and in a sense was almost an exact replica of the first half of the evening. A bunch of people hung out in an outrageously nice room and drank a lot. Then at 12:10, we watched the Jimmy Kimmel show air on tv (it was kinda surreal, actually the only real difference was this time when we watched Anthony perform he was sitting 3 feet away - presumably it was weirder for him though - and also Seth Green wasn’t around).

After the show ended, we said our goodbyes and headed home to go to sleep. And there, ladies and gentlemen, are the details of my trip to the Jimmy Kimmel show.

The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow...An Hour Later

Apparently today was daylight savings.

I say apparently, because i had no clue about the spring forward until I realized that my cell phone was an hour ahead of every other clock in my apartment. I think that in the future the government should have to send everyone in the country a letter reminding them of the clock changing or at least an email so as to prevent any confusion for those of us who do not watch the news the night before said time changes go into effect.

Thanfully, I managed to sort everything out without too much trouble.

In other news, tomorrow is a very big day (I guess technically today is the big day - seeing as how it’s aprox 12:30 am right now, but it still feels like yesterday - daylight savings and all).

Anyways, the reason tomorrow is a big day is twofold.

The first fold is that tomorrow is the opening day for MLB. I will be waking up to the glory that is the Mets home opener against the Nationals on ESPN, and to be honest, right now i’m like a kid on Christmas eve (presumably…seeing as how i’m Jewish, i can’t be certain as to what precisely it feels like to be a kid on Christmas eve, but in my head it feels like this).

The second fold is that tomorrow evening my brother and I will be attending the taping of The Jimmy Kimmel show. My brother’s friend is a stand-up comedian and he is performing on the show. So we have the honor of accompanying him as part of his entourage or posse or what have you. Not only do we get to accompany him, but we are going to be watching the show from the Green Room backstage and taking advantage of whatever other perks being in the Green Room has to offer (hopefully good food, beverages, comfortable couches, and celebrities).

I have not yet decided on what kind of rules I will be applying to tomorrow’s event in terms of my List Of Celebrities I Have Seen list. Surely there will be some celebrity sightings, but I’m not sure if the fact that i’m going to be at a late night show taping, where the very purpose of the show is to showcase said celebrities allows me to count these sightings on my list. At the moment I’m leaning towards including them…because if I do see the celebrities it will be backstage and not as an audience member viewing the taping, and so I feel like this qualifies as a bona fide interaction that is list worthy.

Anyways…details will be forthcoming on all the goings on over at Kimmel, but I definitely recommend watching the show…not because you might see me or anything, but because my brother’s friend is funny.

His name is Anthony Jeselnik…he’ll be the one telling the funny jokes (I only say this because apparently Seth Green is also on the show as a guest - though presumably he won’t be doing an actual routine of comedy material, merely attempting to inject humorous anecdotes into whatever project he’s plugging).

Okay…time for me to try and get some sleep…