Honk

There is a car outside whose horn has been honking continuously for the last 9 minutes. By honking I don’t mean the intermittent, impatient, I’m out here waiting for you, so hurry your ass up kind. I mean steady, non-stop, one long sustained honk.

I would go outside and investigate the source of said honking, however I’m relatively certain that the only thing I would find would be a dead person who’s head has fallen forward onto their horn. This is the only rational explanation that I can think of to account for such a prolonged occurrence of uninterrupted horn noise.

Really, there’s no other possible reason that could account for 9 straight minutes of this. Even if someone had fallen asleep in their car, surely the noise would have startled them to the point of waking. Unless perhaps they are deaf…okay, so there are two rational explanations I can come up with. Either someone is dead, or it’s a deaf person using their steering wheel for a pillow. Either way, it’s gone on for quite some time.

3 minutes ago someone nearby yelled, “shut the fuck up.” But nothing has changed.

I mean, think about it, if I was right, and I went outside and discovered a dead person in their car, could I really do anything to stop the noise? No. I mean I would certainly dial 911, but I definitely wouldn’t try to open the car up and move the person’s head. I watch CSI, I know that this would at best only cause problems for the forensic people and at worst cause problems for me. Yes, if the person was only deaf and asleep I could, in theory, wake them up, but the question persists, how? I can’t knock on their window, seeing as how they are deaf that surely wouldn’t do the trick. The only way I’d be able to wake them is to open the car and give them a shake…but this is a double edged sword kind of thing…cause I wouldn’t know if they were deaf or dead until that moment, and this brings me back to the whole CSI dilemma.

So, instead, I’ll sit here and wait…and hope that this honking stops.