How To Pee

The following article was brought to my attention (thank you julie) in regards to my previous post regarding the bare-assed urinating asian child i was encountering in the school’s bathroom the past couple of weeks. I have posted it below, as I was having trouble with the link.

Enjoy….

One, two, poo in your shoe; three, four, wee on the floor

It may seem like a piddling problem, but increasingly large numbers of Japanese children, especially little boys, don’t know how to pee properly, according to Sunday Mainichi (7/30).

It’s kids way of wee-weeing that’s surprising some, with one elementary school first grade teacher saying that half the 18 boys in his class dropped their trousers around their ankles and exposed the lower halves of their bodies every time they spent a penny.

“Up until a few years ago, you’d get two or three kids a class like that every year, but I’m surprised just how quickly the number of kids who urinate that way has proliferated,” the teacher tells Sunday Mainichi.

“And, you know what, there are so many kids who have no idea how to use a urinal and will only go about their business on a Western-style toilet. Some kids don’t like urinals because they feel exposed, but I really do get the feeling that most of these boys simply have no idea how men are supposed to dispose of their bodily wastes.”

Many young school children refuse to use bathrooms by themselves. Others don’t know they’re supposed to flush toilets after they use them because they’re so used to having a parent, nurse or teacher do it for them.

“There are some girls who dislike using toilets because of fears about whoever may have sat on the seat before they did, which is kind of understandable. Some of the other reasons kids give for refusing to the toilet aren’t, though, like those who hate the seat being cold,” the teacher says.

“Our school only has Western-style toilets but, unlike a lot of homes, the seats aren’t heated and because of that kids won’t use them because they don’t like the feel of cold hard steel on their butts.”

Fastidiousness about cleanliness, to the point of obsession, is driving kids almost potty and ensuring they don’t use the, well, potty. Others with a keen sense of smell become standouts at the slightest whiff of an unpleasant odor. Still more feel the need to use an entire toilet roll to wipe their butts after each sitting in the hope they’ll remove any last vestige of poop remaining.

Kindergartens, too, are bogged down by problems caused by bogs, and these troubles are compounded in one way by toilet doors deliberately made with large gaps at the top and bottom in case something untoward happens and teachers can peer in to check on their charges.

“Some kids start crying, saying their embarrassed that somebody might see them peeing, while others are scared because of the gaps in the doors. They make all kinds of excuses not to use the toilets,” one kindergarten teacher tells Sunday Mainichi.

“Of course, we realize there it’s only natural there’ll be some troubles involved in toilet training children as the kids adjust to being in a different environment, but these should only be temporary matters. From the point of view of a childcare worker, we’re dealing with problems that should be pretty easy to solve.”

But the solution comes from the home, which many childcare workers blame for being the root of the problem. Parents, however, say they’re doing everything possible to get their offspring in the right mood, but it’s just not working out right when they try to bring things to a, well, head.

“When I see my (3-year-old) daughter squirming around, I know it’s time for her to go, but when I suggest we head to the toilet, she stubbornly refuses, saying she doesn’t need to go. If I forcibly take her into the toilet, she kicks and screams and rants and raves until I give up. By that time, she’s already soiled herself,” one beleaguered mother says. “After that, she hides behind curtains or in cupboards and races around so I can’t catch her.”

Parents are hardly helping each other, either, with successful toilet trainers accorded an exclusive status that allows them to lord it over their still struggling peers.

“Women who’ve got their kids toilet trained quickly all boast about their success. That leaves me feeling like a failure because my kid still can’t use the toilet properly,” the mom says. “I realize everybody’s different and some kids take more time than others, but I still feel under enormous pressure.”

Another mother points out a different problem caused by living in a land where parenthood is still largely left in the hands of women.

“It’s really hard to show a little boy how to pee,” the 34-year-old mother of a 4-year-old kindergartner tells Sunday Mainichi. “It’s not like moms know how to piss standing up. We don’t know the right way for boys to get rid of their wastes. Guys don’t wipe themselves after having a pee, right? It seems kinda dirty to me. I really, really hate it when I see undies with skidmarks in them.”

Some experts say the little ones’ laxity in the loo may be their way of sending a message to their parents that they need a little more tender, loving care.

“Some children deliberately urinate all over the place or defecate in their parents’ shoes,” a consultant on childcare for new moms tells Sunday Mainichi. “By doing this, they’re trying to attract their parents’ attention. I think it’s a sign from the kids.”

(By Ryann Connell) July 21, 2006

Nails

I have a problem cutting my nails. For some reason, practically every time i try to trim my finger nails i end up cutting them too short. This ultimately leads to my skin breaking just below the nail’s surface, resulting in a bloody painful finger tip.

I don’t know why I continue to cut my nails too short. Every time I sit down to trim them I am cognizant of my predilection for cutting them too short, and yet I am incapable of correcting this problem.

I am tempted to never cut them, so as to ensure my never having to deal with this problem again, but I suspect that this would perhaps create new problems with similarly painful results. Things like putting in my contact lenses would probably, eventually, become a real challenge (which isn’t to say that i’m one who doesn’t relish the occassional challenge).

Anyways…it might interest you to know that this post was typed with nine fingers, as currently my left pointer finger is out of commission.

Sunday Night Sleep

today started out with a suck….actually, the sucking began last evening. for some reason (i have theories) i can never get a good night’s sleep sunday night whenever i have to get up on a monday morning.

a few years ago i had a bout of insomnia — that was pretty miserable. i used to go three or four days getting maybe 5 hours of sleep, total. but as is the case with most bouts of insomnia, i was never tired during the day. mostly i just spent my days walking around like a zombie (a reoccurring theme here at the blog recently), a little disorientated and pissed off. at night i just watched a lot of television and spent many hours reading as i tried, in vain, to get some shut-eye.

so, it’s always with some familiarity that my late sunday/early morning monday hours are spent lying in bed awake with no hope of getting a good night of rest. however, the difference now, is that i wake up the next morning — or perhaps more appropriately get out of bed the next morning — really, really, really friggin tired.

I had to purchase a venti iced coffee just to make it home from teaching this afternoon — if i hadn’t, i probably would have fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed…i suspect this would have been bad, though it probably would have allowed me a few hours of needed sleep - assuming i didn’t kill myself, in which case i would have never been tired again.

usually, the rest of the week i can sleep just fine, it’s just sunday night that kills me. my guess is that my body is incapable of handling the schedule shift that the weekend hours brings. not going to sleep for a couple of nights until past midnight and sleeping till past 5:30am seems to screw everything up when sunday rolls around and i have to revert back to the work week schedule.

now, clearly, a solution would be to maintain a similar schedule over the weekend as i do during the week - this is in fact what most experts recommend for people anyways. but f that…it’s bad enough i have to get up at 5:30 5 days a week, there’s no way i’m getting up at that time by choice on the remaining 2 days (actually, experts allow you to sleep an extra 30 min without screwing up your internal clock, so technically i could sleep in until 6).

anyways - i don’t really have too much of a point here, other than the fact that i’m really tired right now. i did take a brief nap this afternoon, but didn’t want to sleep too much, lest i screw up tonight’s chances of getting a full night of zzzz’s.

alright…i’m gonna go now. i sound like a walking advertisement for ambien.

Zombies Continued

The verdict is in…

and “The Hotel Of No Return,” will continue. In a resounding vote against the tyranny of oppression that hoped to prevent children from their inalienable rights to make zombie films, all but one parent signed their letters giving the children in my class the necessary permission to keep working on the film.

some parents even asked that a lesson in censorship be included in the future as part of the curriculum.

ironically, the only parent who said no is the parent to two sisters in my class who coincidentally took the same class during the first session of this summer program (while i was teaching creative writing). the film that they made last session was about…yep, you guessed it, zombies.

seems like there was no problem making a film about zombies, that is, until the parent found out that her children were making a film about zombies.

the program director called her this morning to give her the option of removing her children from the class, after telling her that we would be continuing with the film due to the other children having permission. the parent said that she wanted to discuss it with her children first before deciding.

i’m guessing the kids will still be in class tomorrrow…especially given that her children (who, while extremely well-behaved and sweet) are among the several whose suggestions have bordered on the graphic and extreme…so she probably doesn’t have to worry too much about this class corrupting their innocence.

anyways…score one for the good guys

Zombies, Hysterics, And A Letter Home

so, things took a turn for the interesting this morning when one (now former) student’s mother came to school demanding that her child be removed from my class and put into another program due to the “inappropriate material” that we are working on.

by inappropriate material, she was referring to the zombie film that the class is currently in the process of producing. I, of course, found the whole thing rather amusing, although the program director was less then pleased when the hysterical woman began threatening to involve the school board. citing the lack of concern for the children’s well-being by allowing them to continue to work on a film involving zombies.

the strange thing is that I have no part in deciding what material the class works on, rather the kids brainstorm to come up with story ideas, and then vote to choose which one they most want to turn into a film. Our zombie flick being one of the tamer options I might add (I would have hated to see her react to one of the other voted upon choices - a film about a serial killer who collects his victim’s hearts and keeps them in jars in order to get superpowers. or the one i was pulling for, about “terrorists attacking a school and killing off children until their parents stop making war on their country”). but even after this was explained, the woman suggested that my job as a teacher was to tell the children no they are not allowed to work on “scary material.”

now, don’t get me wrong, i have no problems with a parent dictating what their child is exposed to (in their feeble attempts to shield them from the horrors that lurk around every corner - the least concerning being zombies). however, i also am pretty sure that the extent of gore and horror that will be produced in the class will probably pale in comparison to anything that the child (10-11 years old) has already seen in their life (that is, of course, unless the child is kept locked in a bubble when not in school).

so, now, in order to move forward i had to write a letter home to all the children’s parents asking for them to sign the “permission slip” to allow us to continue with our zombie film.

as one child so eloquently put it, “that’s stupid.”

here below is said letter for your enjoyment.

i will have you know that the program director was extremely impressed by my letter writing ability, and she told me i was a very good writer. I responded by telling her that i would be happy to compose any other future letters home to parents as the need arose.

anyways, keep your fingers cross…we’ll find out tomorrow if the “Hotel of No Return” will continue….

Things We Learn With Age

at what age do children learn that it is possible to use a urinal without dropping their pants to the floor? I pose this question because for the past week I have encountered a small asian child who is a student at my current place of employment who has not yet learned.

class for the summer program i teach runs from 8:40am until 10:40am before the students break for 20min for a recess/snack period. so usually at this time I take the opportunity to use the restroom, as I, unlike the students, do not have the luxury of going during class.

and for two out of the last three days (this past wed, thurs) I have entered the bathroom only to find the aforementioned bare-assed asian child relieving himself at one of the three urinals. now, usually this puts me in that awkward position of trying to figure out a way to stall for time, so as not to put myself in a position of having to stand next to him while urinating (this usually means pretending to use the mirror or washing my hands — which, needless to say, is perhaps not the best of choices as it puts me in a position where I cannot escape seeing his behind due to the position of said mirrors in relation to the urinals — however, there are not too many other ways to stall for time in a bathroom). and while this whole thing about not using the urinal at the same time may seem slightly foolish on my part, I have as a rule of thumb a pretty firm policy of not standing next to people in the bathroom while their pants are dropped to the floor (no matter what their age).

on friday, however, the nature of our relationship (that is me and the bare-assed asian child) changed. see, on friday i entered the bathroom to find it empty, and with a sigh of relief made my way to the urinal at the far end of the room. but, no sooner than i had unzipped and began to go, did the kid burst through the door and make a beeline for the urinal right next to mine. caught literally with my dick in my hands, i could do nothing but stand there as he dropped his pants to the floor and began to pee.

and there the two of us stood side by side relieving ourselves.

the kid finished up before i did, and he headed over to the sink to wash up. once i finished i too joined him at the sink area to also wash. he finished washing, and grabbed some paper towels to dry his hands. but, then after drying his hands he did not (unlike the previous days) exit the bathroom. instead, he continued to stand by the paper towel dispenser watching me. I, unsure of what he was doing, slowly finished up washing my hands and then turned towards the paper towels. and that is when the kid reached up and grabbed three paper towels from the dispenser and handed them to me. i took the towels from him, and as i did, he smiled, turned, and ran out the door, leaving me behind to think about how the handing of paper towels to a random person in a restroom and standing at a urinal with pants around the ankles are both things (with some exceptions) we eventually stop doing with age.

4th O July Weekend Recap

Some people say a watched pot never boils. This is wrong. I made pasta this evening for dinner, and the water did in fact boil as I watched. This was the highlight of my day. Unless you count the fact that my morning commute only took about 50 min this morning as opposed to the usual 75. Seems like some people were a little slow in getting back to the work week…Of course this did absolutely nothing beneficial for me, as I still woke up at the same time and just ended up sitting in my classroom an extra 20 min or so before the tykes arrived.

I hope everyone had a good 4th. My weekend was pretty solid. Some partying, some very necessary sleep, saw Superman Returns (ehh, it was good, not great), and topped it off by watching the most exciting Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest held to date.

For those of you not already aware, Japanese phenom, Takeru Kobayashi, won his record 6th straight competition, besting his previous world record of 53 1/2 hot dogs in 12 mins with a total of 53 3/4. However, for the first time since Kobayashi burst onto the IFOCE (International Federation Of Competetive Eating) scene he faced some serious competition. This coming from newcomer, 22 year old, Joey Chestnut, who managed to consume 52 dogs.

Clearly, this is a very exciting time for fans of the annual hot dog eating competition (as well as other IFOCE events), and I look forward to watching the rookie Chestnut continue to take the challenge to Kobayashi in the coming years, until he is able to once again, bring the title of Hot Dog Eating Champion Of The World back to America.

Oh, I also saw Doug Savant on my way to see Superman in the Hollywood Highland Shops. He was on the escalator behind me as I came up from the parking garage.

It's Always Sunny

ust a quick reminder…

The second season of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia debuts tomorrow evening on FX, and I feel I would be doing a disservice to all of you if I did not mention it. This show is absolutely hysterical, and I highly recommend you watch.

Seeing as how there is a shortage of good comedy on television, I feel it necessary to do whatever I can to support those that do exist, least they wind up cancelled (a la Arrested Development).

So, anyways, watch.

Otherwise, not much else to talk about here…teaching is in full swing…and let me tell you nothing says fun like driving over an hour to teach a three hour class in a classroom that has no air conditioning in the middle of the summer.

Ahh, the weekend…I miss you…please come soon.

Teaching The Tykes

well, my first day of class has come and passed, and needless to say i’m tired…my body is not a fan of waking up at 6 am and then driving an hour to and from work.

but, the teaching was fun, and the kids all seem to enjoy things so far.

I will say that 3 hours of class on writing in the summer maybe a bit more than necessary…so hopefully i manage to keep the kids from going crazy before the end of the session. Also, the fact that the classrooms have no air conditioning does not help in this department.

anyways…i realize this isn’t a very exciting post, but my brain is done working for the day…time to get some shut eye.

Quack

Things have been a little hectic over here the past few days. Since getting back into town, I’ve been juggling the continuing(and hopefully soon to be finished) process of unpacking and moving into my apartment (I know, I am really bad - slow - at getting settled), along with trying to take care of other move necessitated errands (i.e. going to dmv to get my license and registration changed) before I begin teaching again next Monday.

At which point it will be back to waking up at 6 am (ish) on a regular basis (or rather for a month and change until the class is over), obviously something I’m not looking forward to. Although, my bank account will, I’m sure, be appreciative.

Anyways, otherwise I’ve just been trying to do some more enjoying of my new surroundings, which over the last few days (and into last weekend) resulted in some rather “hollywood” like activities.

First, this past weekend I went with my brother to grab a bite to eat at The Pig N Whistle on Hollywood Blvd. Not the best of food (although the portions were quite large - for those who have an interest in such things), but the meal was decent enough, and it was, we figured, some place that we had to try out at least once (being a Hollywood landmark and all - at least, so says their menu).

So, while we were there, I see this guy walk out of the restuarant wearing a denim jean jacket and sporting a tooth pick in his mouth. And I’m looking at him, and I know I’ve seen him before, when suddenly it dawns on me…it’s the dude who played Lester Averman in The Mighty Ducks (parts I, II, and III). His name is Matt Doherty.

I thought this was pretty sweet, especially considering my Chris Kattan sighting a few days prior, and my subsequent reference to A Night At The Roxbury and their reference to Emilio Estevez as the Mighty Duckman. And eventhough I think that (at least) the first Mighty Ducks is a pretty kick ass movie from back in the day, I don’t think Matt qualifies for the Celebrity List, however, as is my want, I feel he deserves some mention here…especially considering how badass he looked in denim (he still has the same ‘fro and pretty much wears the same glasses).

Then on Monday evening I went with my brother to the Arclight for the LA premiere of a film called Hatchet, which my brother worked on last summer. It was a very enjoyable horror film, with a lot of gore and some gratuitous nudity, quite the crowd pleaser.

Obviously, there were a bunch of “celebs” at the screening - anyone who worked on the film (actors, the director, etc.), including Kane Hodder who some of you might know from his turn as Jason Voorhees in Friday The Thirteenth (parts VII, VIII, IX - technically called Jason Goes To Hell, and part X). Also in attendence was Richard Riehle, another cast member, who might be better known as the guy in Office Space who creates the Jump To Conclusion mat.

Anyways…as I stated, definitely an enjoyable flick, worth checking out if you like that sorta film, if/when it gets distrubition.

Alright kids, I’m off to watch a little more television before hitting the hay…I’m trying to ween myself back to a normal sleep schedule to try and ease the pain of next week. This morning I got up at 8:45, however, tomorrow I’m going to wake up real early at 6:30 and watch the USA vs Ghana World Cup game. Then the trick will be to stay awake for the rest of the day without napping too much, so that I can fall asleep early(ish) tomorrow night.

The Man Who Saw The Mighty Duckman

Well, I am back from my 5 year college reunion and visit to the East Coast. Suffice to say it was a very enjoyable trip, and as always it was good to see my friends, along with some people who I hadn’t seen in some time.

I will, in the next day or so, provide more details into the festivities that occurred, but for now I wanted to just let everyone know that I was back home safe and sound in LA.

And, you’ll notice that Chris Kattan has been added to the List Of Celebrities, as my brother and I came across him this afternoon while shopping for groceries in the Whole Foods on Fairfax and Santa Monica.

It was quite odd, actually, we were talking and then all of a sudden I looked up and there was Mr. Kattan making some selections from the salad bar.

And though I was tempted to quote some Night At The Roxbury and scream out Emilio, instead I just continued on to the prepared foods counter to pick up some fish.

Yesterday

Not only are there adjustments to be made living in a new apartment, but I’m also beginning to see that living in Hollywood is a lot different than living in Santa Monica.

I had this epiphany yesterday as I walked into the Washington Mutual on the corner of Sunset and Vine and passed through metal detectors that were enclosed by two different sets of bulletproof security glass (so that you couldn’t enter the bank until the metal detector cleared you and opened the doors electronically).

It wasn’t so much the metal detectors themselves that caused the realization, but rather this was the culmination of everything else that occurred throughout the day.

The day began with a trip to Supercuts. I parked my car and stepped out into the parking lot when I heard a voice from behind me speak, “Hey, do you like rap music?”

I turned around and came face to face with a black midget (okay, so not technically face to face). Now, normally I wouldn’t refer to a black midget as such (as I believe the preferred nomenclature is little person), however, I refer to him here as a black midget because this is how he identified himself. Since I was just standing there, slightly confused, and having not answered his question, he spoke again, “What? You never seen a black midget before?”

At which point I was able to recover long enough to reply, “Uh, no, I just wasn’t sure if you were talking to me.”

To which he then replied, “Whatever, so do you like rap music?”

Now again, normally, when faced with this question from people on the street I usually say no, as I assume that they are about to try and sell me a cd they made. However, in this case, still recovering from my initial confusion, I answered, “yes, I like rap music.”

At which point the black midget did, in fact, attempt to get me to buy a cd of his rap music. Which, I might add, I was more tempted to purchase then I’ve ever been before when approached by a random person on the street hawking cds of their music.

Nevertheless, I politely declined and proceeded on to get my haircut.

After my haircut I headed over to Ralph’s on the corner of Fountain and La Brea. Things went smoothly inside right up until the point that I got in line to check out. I was behind an elderly woman, who basically met every single stereotype conceivable when you think of getting stuck behind an elderly woman in the checkout line.

A sampling of her conversation (pretend it’s in an elderly woman’s voice).

Elderly Woman: How much did you say it was?
Cashier: $74.97
Elderly Woman: I’m going to write you a check? (searching her bag) Do you have a pen? I can’t find my pen? It was here this morning. I never leave without my pen. I like a pen handy in case I have to write something down. Where could it be?
Cashier (handing her a pen) Here you go.
Elderly Woman: Oh, thank you. I’m going to write you a check. How much did you say it was?
Cashier: $74.97
Elderly Woman: Did you include my coupons? I gave you my coupons didn’t I?
Cashier: No, you didn’t give me any coupons.
Elderly Woman: Really, well, I have coupons.

Things continued from there for another 2-3 minutes. Normally, I would have probably gotten impatient and switched lines, but I was really quite transfixed by it all. The most amazing thing is that after everything was done and she had paid, she ended up taking the pen and putting it in her purse. I didn’t see her do it, but we (myself and the cashier) realized it had occurred when I went to go sign my credit card receipt and his pen was no longer there.

Then after Ralph’s it was off to the bank where I was greeted by the metal detectors and hard-core security. Needless to say this was a shock, but also I realized perhaps a necessity given the clientele in this area as opposed to the soccer mom’s and retirees of Santa Monica.

As once inside the first thing I saw was a rather tall guy sporting a blue mohawk, tatoos, and peircings screaming obscenities at the customer service person. I made my way over to the line of people who were all looking on quietly, as the guy continued his tirade.

Fuck this, fuck that, fucking government, the revolution is coming, banks will fall, all you motherfuckers are gonna get lined up against the wall.

Stuff like that.

And as I stood there and watched, I realized I was sorta okay with the fact that my banking experiences from now on would include a trip through a metal detector….

On a side note, I’m off to the east coast for a week to attend my 5 year college reunion…so forgive my absence if I don’t do too much updating the blog between now and when I get back…however, i’m sure there will be some entertaining anecdotes to relay upon my return, which thereby will lead to your entertainment, so really you should be happy i’m going.

High Speed Pursuit

Just about all settled into the new apartment…and things so far are going quite well.

Obviously, there are a lot of adjustments to be made living in a new place. For example the dryer in this apartment is slightly less powerful then my old dryer. And by slightly less powerful I mean it took me close to 3 hours to get my clothes dry yesterday…but hey, as long as the floor stays dry and the ceiling in-tact then i won’t complain.

On the bright side of things, I can now see the 101 from my bedroom balcony and window. And this evening I witnessed my first (presumably there will be more) high speed police chase, complete with a helicopter shining a spotlight on the suspect’s vehicle.

I walked into my room, and noticed the helicopter and spotlight moving towards my apartment from the distance. At first I wasn’t really sure what it was doing, but then as I continued to watch I realized that it’s beam was tracking a car that was speeding towards my apartment (north) at speeds of what appeared to be nearing 100mph.

Soon the car (and helicopter) sped passed ending the excitement for about five seconds until a group of 8 police cars, sirens wailing, came flying by in hot pursuit.

I immediately put on the local news channels in hopes of seeing a live cut away to the action (hoping also for some explanation as to the origins of said chase — thereby allowing me to become more emotionally invested in its outcome).

But, alas, there was no chase coverage only the weather report.

For all those interested, it looks like tomorrow will be a bit cooler, sunny with highs around 85.

Moving On Up

Well, it’s official, our move to the Eastside is complete.

Apologies for the absence of blog in the last week or so, but as you can imagine, the move was rather time consuming and also came with a period of no internet as well.

However, now that I am all settled (well, almost all settled — there’s still some unpacking to do), blogging should resume on a more regular schedule (which, admittedly, lately, hasn’t been all that regular).

Anywho…time to get the day started and get some work done so that I can be relaxing in front of the tv this evening for the season premiere of Rescue Me.

Later kids.

TV Giveth And TV Taketh Away

For those people who work in the industry, along with people who work in advertising, as well as people who’s lives obsessively revolve around watching television, this past week is arguably the most important week of the year.

This is the week in which the major television networks announce their fall line-ups after debuting previews of their new programming for Madison Ave. advertisers (called Upfronts) in hopes of getting sponsors to commit millions of dollars towards shows that have not yet aired.

For someone like myself (who qualifies under two of the aforementioned categories - though primarily as an obsessive watcher) this week is particularly important as it begins to give me some idea as to how i will be spending every night of my week come the fall.

Unfortunately, this week is also bringing with it much sadness (some extremely unexpected) as the new line-ups inevitably mean the cancellation of shows that I have grown to love.

Obviously, a show like the West Wing (a favorite of mine) won’t be back, however, this has been something that I was told well in advance of this past week, and therefore I was able to prepare for the loss (along with being able to see the series conclude with a sense of closure, I also have the new Aaron Sorkin show Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip to look forward to).

The same could be said for Arrested Development, which was also expected to be cancelled and therefore the creators made sure to tie up there major arcs when writing the last few episodes of this past season.

However, for every West Wing/Arrested Development that ends with some sense of closure, some shows are cancelled without ever really giving viewers the satisfaction of answering many of the issues they raise when on the air.

The one show whose departure I am most upset by is Invasion. The brilliant sci-fi/drama that ABC had on after Lost was, in my opinion, the best new show on television this past season, and arguably the most consistent hour of television as well (i never was disappointed by any episode all season long - high praise for a show like this).

Anyways, I found out two days ago that Invasion was not being picked up and this made me very angry. Obviously, because i like the show, but also because this decision was made after the series had finished shooting its season finale (which is now the series finale). At the time of the filming it was expected that the show would be picked up and therefore the finale was (along with being an amazing episode) a cliffhanger designed to spin the show in a direction that would lead to the main arc of season 2.

So, not only did I not get to find out the answers to the greater questions raised as the show progressed through the season, I was left with more questions that will never be answered.

Needless to say, I’m pissed. And quite frankly I blame those of you who didn’t watch the show. Or at the very least those 22 million + among you who watch crap like American Idol and Grey’s Anatomy but couldn’t find the time to watch Invasion. It’s all your fault.

If that wasn’t bad enough, HBO just announced that they were releasing the cast of Deadwood from their contracts, thereby effectively signaling that this season will be the last for that show as well. Which (seeing as how this decision was also made after this forthcoming season 3 has wrapped) will mean that most likely there will be no sense of closure for this show either, and I will have to watch every episode this summer with the simmering resentment that comes from knowing that all these (presumably) brilliant storylines will never get to go anywhere.

Now sure, I suppose the argument could be made that if I didn’t invest my life so heavily on television shows then perhaps i would not have to deal with such disappointment.

But you know what, if I didn’t ever fall in love then I wouldn’t have to worry about heartbreak either.

No, I say it’s better to have loved and lost.

But, seriously, next time I tell you to watch a show…do me a favor and watch…my sense of well-being is at stake.

The Last Flood?

My apartment has flooded again.

Thankfully, the flood occurred this morning a little before 10am, and it was contained to my brother’s bathroom and the hallway outside his bedroom (both areas that have tile rather than carpet). So all in all as far as flooding apartments go, it could have been worse.

Also, it was a lot easier to remain calm with the knowledge that we are outttttaaaa heeeeereeee. Later this afternoon, my brother and I are going to be signing our new lease, and although we were initially planning on moving to the new place at a leisurely pace over the next two weeks, we can, obviously, speed that process up if the need exists (which it now, thanks to the new flood, seemingly does).

Our new place is up in the base of the Hollywood Hills, a few blocks north of Hollywood Blvd. just west of the 101. I’m rather excited about moving to the new location — obviously we’ll be a lot closer to the “action” as opposed to the peaceful seclusion of the westside, so it should make for an interesting change of lifestyle (though presumably i’ll still spend the majority of my time in my apartment watching tv and writing — only now the option of going out will actually have more possibilities behind it for me to dismiss).

Anyways, as far as i’m concerned as long as the new place stays flood free (and since there’s nobody living on top of us this time - a big selling point, needless to say) we should be in decent shape.

Well…I suppose i’ll take my leave for now and go back to work and wait for the plumber/cleaning people to arrive…

ahh, there’s the phone ringing now.

Magic Man And A Rabbit

Well, the David Blaine special was enjoyable albeit a slight let down. As I’m sure you are all now aware, David only managed to hold his breath for 7min 8sec, as opposed to his goal (and what would have been a new world record) 9min. Certainly seeing a person hold their breath for over 7min is impressive enough (though debatable as to whether or not it’s deserving of a prime time sweeps special), but the true source of entertainment in the show came from Blaine’s street magic segments.

In these segments he walks around to strangers performing tricks that make their jaws drop - or in one case make their teeth (apparently) fall out - and leave the spectators claiming that he is either a)amazing b)unbelievable or c) the devil himself…I like to think it’s a combination of all three.

Anyways, one would presume it’s only a matter of time before he does something that either maims or kills him on live television, so i’ll probably continue to tune in.

Otherwise today was a relatively quiet day, I spent most of the day on the phone setting up appointments for the rest of the week to check out more apartments. Which was productive, if not slightly less than exciting.

So, since today’s highlight so far has been Sportscenter, I will instead elaborate on my encounter with the homeless man dressed in the rabbit costume this past weekend.

I was having dinner with my brother and a friend in the 3rd St. Promenade area of Santa Monica and after dinner we were walking back to the parking structure where my car was, and as we were walking along, enjoying the evening and engrossed in conversation I looked up and noticed the giant rabbit sitting on a suitcase holding a sign that said, “Homeless American, Please Help.”

Needless to say I was rather taken aback — seeing as how it is not every day one encounters a giant rabbit holding a sign (or for that matter a giant rabbit sans sign). He almost looked like the rabbit in Donnie Darko, and perhaps he was. I don’t know of a lot of other work that that rabbit’s had since the film, so perhaps if he didn’t invest his money wisely he might be on the streets by now.

Anyway, the thing that perplexed me the most was that at some point this person had to have (presumably) purchased the rabbit costume from a store. Which (unless he found it in a dumpster somewhere - which is i guess definitely possible) would be, in my opinion, not a very good allocation of funds if one were homeless. Then again I suppose if the homeless were better at allocation of funds they might not be homeless in the first place…it’s sort of a chicken or egg situation i suppose.

The other thing that perplexed me is the decision itself to opt for the rabbit costume. What compelled him to go with rabbit over say a dog or even a bear? I would hope that some thought went into it, because chances are that guy is going to be spending the better portion of the rest of his life in that rabbit suit. That’s the thing about being homeless, you don’t really have a lot of options, so if you find yourself in the position to purchase an animal costume in the hope that it might get you a few extra bucks from people passing by, you better think long and hard about what choice you’re gonna make. Personally, i have to believe that i would have opted for something that didn’t have white fur. As nothing turns a homeless person in a rabbit costume from fun-loving to scary and creepy quicker than a costume with dirt, piss, vomit, and other street stains.

Back In Business

Whoever said, “nothing is ever accomplished by being lazy,” obviously had no idea what they were talking about. Case in point, my router situation. After several weeks of avoiding the task of getting off my ass to go out and buy a new router my problem managed to resolve itself yesterday afternoon when my router began working again. I have no idea what caused the sudden shift in my router’s behavior, nor do I really care. The only thing that matters is that I once again have wireless internet access, and I had to do absolutely nothing in order to get it (save for sit around and wait for a couple of weeks - and occassionally complain about the situation).

Anyway…I’m back.

So, it’s been a while since i’ve done some serious blogging and I’m almost unsure of where to begin. Quite a bit has happened lately, and there is much going on in my life that is blog worthy, so hopefully in the next few days those of you who’ve been starving for some of my posts will get your fill.

First off…I am currently in the process of looking for a new apartment. My brother and I gave our 30 day notice on the 1st of the month and now have until the end of the month to find a new place to live and move. Now, this is not the ideal situation, as normally I would have preferred to have had at least some idea as to where I was planning to move before giving notice on my current lease, but I suppose not much has been ideal when it comes to this apartment.

The problems arose when it was discovered that my lease runs out at the end of this month. My brother had been telling me that it ran through July. The reason for this confusion is somewhat unclear, but mostly the basis of it comes from the fact that I didn’t sign the lease until July. I suppose my brother was under the impression that the two months preceding my signing of the lease during which he had already signed (because he was living here, and I had not yet moved from Miami) did not count towards the 1 year lease term. Regardless of the reasoning, the end result is the same, we gots to go. Which I certainly am not overly upset about…as long as we find somewhere good to go to next.

The process of looking for an apartment is always enjoyable and entertaining if not time consuming and strange. You get a fresh start and can have your pick of things (which I am happy about given my better understanding of where things are now as opposed to when i first moved out here).

So far the search has not produced much but places that were either too small, in bad areas, or not worth the price being asked.

We did look at one really nice place near the Grove, but it was definitely too small…however it led to a rather humorous discussion with the landlord about the apartment later that evening. The landlord was an elderly woman who was very nice if not perhaps a bit hard of hearing (or perhaps in the early stages of senility…i’m not sure).

Anyways…i spoke to her 3 times before we went to check the place out, mostly this was because the day before we were stood up by a landlord and so my brother and i didn’t want to waste our time again - and needless to say she didn’t exactly inspire confidence over the phone that we could trust her memory to be there. For example every time I called her she asked who I was, why I was calling, and then I had to wait while she got a pen to write it all down. And each time I explained that i was just checking to make sure we were still meeting to see the apartment at 2pm, only for her to tell me that she couldn’t meet at 2pm because she already had an appointment at that time…at which point i had to explain that I was the person who had the appointment.

But, to her credit she did show up and we looked at the apartment as scheduled. Which as I mentioned was nice, but too small for the two of us (plus Socrates). So, we thanked her and her husband who showed us around and then left, thinking that would be the end of it. However, later that night I got a phone call from her asking me what I thought about the place. I explained to her that it was nice, but smaller than we needed. At this point the conversation took a comedic turn.

Her: Well, what price did you see the apartment listed at?
Me: Um, I believe it was $1850, but i don’t remember.
Her: Well, how bout I make it $1800.
Me: That’s very nice of you, but like I said it’s not an issue of price, it’s just too small.
Her: Okay, how bout $1750
Me: No, really, it’s not a matter of money, we can afford the cost, but it’s not big enough for us.
Her: What do you do?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: Do you have a job?
Me: Yes, I write, and I teach part-time. And my brother is a student.
Her: Okay, $1700, but that’s as low as I can go.
Me: Um…Yeah, again, it’s really just a size issue, but seriously thanks for your time.
Her: Fine…your welcome, but if you change your mind let me know.
Me: Okay..have a nice night.

Then I hung up.

Anyways…I suppose you can’t blame a person for trying.

There is a lot more to come in the next few days here at my blog including more stories about my search for a new apartment, Scientologists, a homeless man in a giant rabbit’s costume, and more…

but for now, it’s time for me to get that dinner thing started before i begin my evening’s television…which tonight includes the David Blaine special Drowned Alive, which I highly recommend everyone watch.

Until tomorrow…

Stay Classy

So, i have a few minutes to spend some time on my floor and do some blogging…needless to say the no router thing is now the new issue in my otherwise (mostly) uneventful day to day existence…of course, since fixing this problem requires nothing more than going out to a store and picking up a new one, i really don’t have any reason to be annoyed.

I suppose in some way I was just kinda hoping that the old router would decide to start working again and thereby release me of the task of having to go out to get a new one.

Anyways…

As I mentioned in my last post, this past Saturday my brother and I made the drive down to Saint Diego to see the Mets come into town to play the Padres. All in all a great time, as is the case for any baseball game. The Mets won and Pedro threw a gem, striking out 11 on his way to the W.

Petco Park is an absolutely gorgeous ballpark and San Diego is definitely a nice place to see a game. One of the cooler things about the game was that the Padres were celebrating Military Night (San Diego is a big miliary town with Camp Pendleton a few miles away) and so there were a lot of military personnel on hand to enjoy the game. So, as part of the celebration the Navy Seals Frog Jumpers parachuted into the stadium before the game began. It was pretty amazing to see these guys jump out of an airplane and make their way down into the ballpark at speeds of excess of 60mph.

The other highlight from the game was that in between the 5th and 6th inning as the grounds crew was raking the infield dirt one of the crew members dropped his rake and broke into an (i assume) impromptu dance routine on the outfield grass. Soon the music was pumping and he got put up on the jumbotron as he busted out a whole bunch of sweet 80s moves including the running man and some sprinkler arm action.

Otherwise, not much else is going on my way…i’ve been spending the majority of my time writing (even more than usual), as i’m trying to finish up some stuff for a few competitions that i am entering with deadlines of May 1st. So, it looks like the next few days will bring more of the same…

I will, however, be sure to take some time to break for the NFL draft this weekened (or at least the Jets’ and Giants’ picks).

so until next time…thanks for stopping by.

A Few Minutes On My Floor

Hey everybody…

So, here I am, back online to update my blog and also back on my floor (internet access is still only available by connecting the ethernet cable directly to the computer).

As you might have inferred from my previous comment, there has been no purchase of a new router…yet.

It’s a little after 9:30pm (PST), and normally I would be watching Lost right now…however, Lost is not on television this evening. A 2 hour Alias is on instead (a show that I do not watch), so I figured it was a good time to post. At 10pm Invasion comes on (a show that i do watch) so don’t worry about me, I’ll be able to still get some quality tv viewing time in this evening.

Eventhough i’m not watching tv at the moment, the tv is on in the other room, because i was flipping around while i ate dinner. So, as i type i can still hear the sounds of Predator emanating from my living room. Predator is of course one of the all time classic eighties movies, and my second favorite movie ever to feature two future governors (Arnold and Jessie) as cast members. The Running Man is my favorite — man is that movie outstanding (seriously, when was the last time you saw it, go rewatch it, it’s fantastic). The only other movie - so far - that has two future governors as cast members is Batman & Robin — and I don’t like that movie at all.

I’m not sure what any of this means.

Anyways…i don’t really have too much else to report. This Saturday, I’m going with my brother down to San Diego as the Mets are coming to town to play the Padres. Pedro’s pitching Saturday night and we’ve got pretty good seats, so it should be a good time.

Presumably i’ll talk more about it after I get back.

alright…it’s fast approaching 10pm, so it’s probably best if i take my leave and go settle into my chair for some quality tv time.

until next time…who love’s you and who do you love? (that’s from Running Man for anyone who didn’t know — and the answer is Gideon)