2 In 2

hey, how bout that, 2 posts in 2 days…

well, sorta.

this isn’t really a full blog post per se (although i suppose I could spend some time holding a semantic discussion over what constitutes a full blog post, since i’m not entirely sure what the arbitrary length a blogger must fill to constitue a full post equates to. And that might, after this unknown number of lines, eventually eliminate the need for my previous disclaimer and render this post as one that does qualify for full blog post status and thereby also eliminate - in theory - the need for this rather long aside).

anyways.

what i am here to do is post the track listings for the feb 2007 mix. granted it is no longer february, but i’ll once again refer you to the whole shortest month of the year thing and offer that i can’t be held accountable for some roman’s decision to do something screwy with the calendar.

as you may or may not notice this month’s mix features some new songs, some songs that have relevance to this year’s grammy’s, as well as some songs to pay tribute to the end of The O.C., with just a hint of valentine’s day romance sprinkled in.

so, without further ado, I give you the…

Feb 2007 Mix:

1. Save Room - John Legend
2. Grace Kelly - Mika
3. SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
4. Discotech - Young Love
5. Running Up That Hill - Placebo
6. Play Tough - The Apples In Stereo
7. Nothing At All - The Shins
8. Leslie Anne Levine - The Decemberists
9. The Mating Game - Bitter Sweet
10. I Still Remember - Bloc Party
11. A Bad Dream - Keane
12. Stereo - John Legend
13. Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae
14. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
15. Same Old Drag - The Apples In Stereo
16. Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
17. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police
18. Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer

and to wet your appetites before i go, there are a few albums that i’ve been looking forward to for some time coming out this month including the new Modest Mouse, Arcade Fire, and Air…so look for selections from those (and many more!) towards the end of the month in the forthcoming March 2007 mix.

aight. i’m ghost.

Ok

so, admittedly february has not been my most proficient month as far as blog postings go.

in fact, for those of you keeping score at home, this will only be my second post for the entire month (granted, february is the shortest month - and i’m liable to think that had i been given the 2-3 more days that every other month offers i could have increased my total of posts in the month to a whopping 3).

presumably, this will put a serious crimp in my previously mentioned intent to try and increase the frequency with which i post blogs this year. after recenly reaching the 100 post mark in about a year, my current pace puts me at 200 posts sometime around 2010.

oh well.

anyways, here’s some stuff that you missed hearing about, and which i probably would have devoted entire blogs to had i been more conscientious about posting lately.

first off, i saw Abraham Benrubi (who some of you might know from his time as jerry on “ER”, but who will always in my mind be larry kubiak of “parker lewis can’t lose” fame) walking down beverly blvd about a week ago.

from the irony department: last week at the gym two things occurred that made me once again spend several minutes pondering whether or not the end of our civilization would necessarily be a bad thing.

the first thing was a group of 4 girls waiting for an elevator to take them up from the first floor of the gym to the second floor.

now, the fact that the gym (a building whose primary purpose is to encourage and facilitate physical fitness) even has an elevator to begin with is perhaps a bit perplexing - however, i suppose that perhaps a person in a wheelchair or someone engaging in physical therapy might require/benefit from its use - but these were 4 (at least as far as external appearances go) healthy, young women who just seemed either a)oblivious to the fact that there were stairs around the corner or b)were too lazy to actually use said stairs in their quest to achieve the results they desired. good luck with that.

but, this was nothing compared to what occurred shortly thereafter. i was on the treadmill when a young woman stepped onto a treadmill in front of me with a cup of coffee in hand. now granted the cup had a lid on it, but i still found it rather odd that she had decided that a cup of coffee would be an appropriate beverage to consume either before or during a session on the treadmill.

at first i wasn’t certain as to whether she was looking to boost her energy with some caffeine, was trying not to be wasteful and throw out the last few sips, or was just plain stupid.

needless to say my uncertainty lasted only a brief time, and all questions were answered as she proceeded to spill hot coffee on herself while she was running. causing her to not only curse in pain, but to also nearly fall off the treadmill from the burns, and her subsequent attempt to quickly rid her arms of the scalding liquid.

the other really entertaining thing that’s happened lately (not involving brittany spears) is all the hullabuloo being made over the american idol chick’s photos.

now, first off let me state i hate american idol (along with pretty much every other reality tv program), although i do enjoy watching paula abdul interview segments from local news affiliates online. so, really, i could care less about what any of these contestants have or may have done prior to, while, or after appearing on the show (unless it involves some sort of actual artistic endeavor having nothing to do with the show - ala jennifer hudson).

that said, the reason i am enjoying this current “scandal” is because the young woman in question hails from pt. pleasant (which along with being the name of a - what i’m sure was a very awful - short-lived television show, is also a town located very close to where i grew up in new jersey).

the part that i am enjoying most revolves around the photograph of her on the toilet bowl. not for any particular scatological fetish i might have, but rather for the comments made recently in an ap story by a local resident regarding the photo and the implications it has for people from the jersey shore.

“It’s the way this town is: Everybody knows everything about their friends,” said Mark Dillon, 17. “At least half the people in this town have pictures of their friends on the toilet. I’ve personally seen at least 20. It’s only because she’s on TV that they’re online.”

so, in lieu of all this, i would like to take this opportunity to state that i do not have any pictures of my friends on the toilet. and as far as i know nobody i knew growing up possessed any photos of friends on the toilet.

but then again, things change…

they say you can never go home again, maybe it’s because when you get there everyone is walking around with pictures of people on the crapper.

The World Has Changed

so, it’s been a while since the last blog…to all those concerned that perhaps i might have died, fear not i’ve just been busy lately. to all those wishing i had died, tough shit.

some of you may remember my post from a few weeks back citing the conversation pat robertson recently had with god regarding the impending terrorist attacks that pat “was told” would be unleashed upon major cities towards the end of this year.

you may also remember that in lieu of that conversation i suggested that perhaps i might try to take greater advantage of the world around me and of all the interesting and fun things at my disposal that i had yet to experience since moving to la now nearing two years ago.

well, this is what’s been going on for the last few weeks. i have been experimenting with a little thing that some people who do not spend the majority of their time in front of either a) a computer screen b) a tv or c) at a movie theater - refer to as living.

it’s been fun. and for those of you who are prone to waiting for my signing off on things before giving them a shot, i can now tell you that (although, not for every one) i’m giving you the green light to try life on for size…see how it fits. so far so good on my end.

however, this isn’t to say that life isn’t exactly as i remembered it from the last time i spent a significant amount of time out in the world. in fact, there are some things that have been down right surprising.

the first of these things are that mannequins now apparently come with models that seem to have down syndrome (at least the one’s at nordstroms do).

now, don’t get me wrong i am not making fun of people with down’s syndrome. i do not now nor have i ever promoted making fun of people with this infliction. that said it is a bit odd to have mannequins who seemingly have down syndrome modeling clothes in a department store. but, then, maybe this is a good thing…maybe down syndrome mannequins are just the first step in marketing clothes to a segment of the population that until now has probably been vastly ignored by the fashion community. perhaps this could pave the way to bigger and better things for people with down syndrome. who knows, maybe this spring there will be models with down syndrome walking the runways in france. i bet that guy who played Corky from Life Goes On could have rocked the runways back in the day if he had wanted to.

anyways. some other things that have been going on lately:

saw Cameron Diaz shopping/trying to escape the hounding of paparazzi at Whole Foods (this occurred about a week ago).

yesterday I spent the day in Santa Barbara, while walking down State street there was a man holding a sign that said “free hugs.” he may or may not have been homeless. nevertheless I took advantage of the offer and received a hug - in general i try to make it a rule never to refuse free stuff.

from the corrections department - I realized that my jan 06 mix should actually be titled jan 07 mix as it is in fact now 2007. as for my feb 07 mix, stay tuned it should be up in the next week or so.

other than that, i’ve been eating out quite a bit lately discovering lots of new, good places. and get this, i’ve even gone out drinking a few times…including a night that ended at the Roosevelt Hotel lounge, which is definitely a very enjoyable place to hang out and have a few.

i checked out the hollywood farmer’s market.

and i’ve also recently been introduced to crossword puzzles, they’re fun.

okay, time to get ready to eat some food and watch a little tv…

i promise i’ll try and be a little more vigilant with keeping the blog updates coming more regularly, i know how so many of you depend on them to survive.

until then, keep on keeping on…

Housekeeping And A Weekend Recap

well, my “birthday week” is officially over now, and it’s back to work…which basically translates to still doing mostly the same stuff i did last week, only now i will feel guilty when i’m not productive with my writing. which, thankfully, isn’t the case for today.

anyways, the weekend of celebrating was an outstanding one…arguably one of the best weekends i’ve had in a long, long while (though, really, this had very little to do with it being my birthday). some highlights include: seeing the shins play a free show at amoeba friday evening in support of their new album (which is outstanding by the way, and perhaps their best/most complete album yet), eating an excellent meal at the fabiolus cafe then spending saturday night at the bigfoot lodge with friends, and walking around downtown sunday afternoon taking some photos (some of which are now up in my pics).

the only downsides were the lack of sleep (certainly worth it), and the fact that the weekend is now over (but, i suspect that more activity filled good times shall be forthcoming).

in other news my january ‘06 mix is complete…for those wondering, in the end i opted for the cd version so that i can burn them for posterity. here below are the track listings to the approximately 78 min of january ‘06 goodness:

1. July, July! — The Decemberists, Live From Soho
2. Phantom Limb — The Shins, Wincing The Night Away
3. Gronlandic Edit — Of Montreal, Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer
4. A Sentence of Sorts In Kongsvinger — Of Montreal, Hissing Fauna…
5. Australia — The Shins, Wincing The Night Away
6. I’m Waking Up To Us — Belle and Sebastian, Push Barman To Open Old Wounds
7. Take A Chance — The Magic Numbers, Take A Chance Single
8. Long Distance Call — Phoenix, It’s Never Been Like That
9. Fearless (live) — Ambulance Ltd., New English EP
10. You and I Are A Gang Of Losers — The Dears, Gang Of Losers
11. Sea Legs — The Shins, Wincing The Night Away
12. Hold On, Hold On — Neko Case, Fox Confessor Brings The Flood
13. Save Me — Jude, Redemption
14. Smiley Faces — Gnarls Barkley, St. Elsewhere
15. No Fit State — Hot Chip, The Warning
16. The Monkeys Are Breaking Out The Zoo — Belle and Sebastian, Colours Are Brighter
17. The Crane Wife 1&2 — The Decemberists, The Crane Wife
18. Sons & Daughters — The Decemberists, The Crane Wife

also, i neglected to mention and subsequently add Leonard Nimoy to the Celebrity List. Leonard was spotted 2 weekends ago at the Laemmle on Sunset as I was waiting to see The Last King Of Scotland. Which, was an outstanding film made slightly less enjoyable by the extremely loud and obnoxious person sitting directly behind me who spent the entire film laughing at inappropriate moments and adding unnecessary comments.

In fact i came very close to telling him to shut up, only to in the end refrain after my brother (because of how unbelievable the guy’s behavior was) suggest that perhaps he might be mentally retarded. As soon as the movie ended the guy immediately got up and left before this was able to be confirmed, so i will never know. But, given the plot to this past sunday’s episode of Extras, perhaps it was a good thing i bit my tongue…

okay, kids, time to get in a bit more writing before tv time.

Friday, 3 Days After My Birthday

so here i am 3 days into the start of my 28th year…it’s kinda strange being 28, though honestly i don’t feel a day over 27.

a lot of people this year, while offering their birthday wishes and congratulations, made the point of telling me that i am now old. and while i supppose this is a relative term (people have been saying — and i suspect will continue saying — this to me with varying degrees of seriousness since i turned 13), i can’t but help think it is in some ways now true.

granted, i don’t feel “old.” but seeing as how i’m now closer to 30 than 25, i guess it is something to consider. this isn’t to say that 30 is particularly old either, of course, but certainly nobody aged 30 or older is ever mistaken (despite any behavior that might indicate otherwise) for being anything other than an adult.

most of my friends are now either married or engaged or have forthcoming engagements in their near future. some of my married friends have children, and some have children on the way. and while again these are not necessarily indicators of old age (go visit your local inner city or trailer park for proof) it’s hard to argue the fact that the world around me is changing.

when you are a kid and even through your teenage and young adult years there is always a sense that life as an adult is something that won’t exist for many, many years, in a future time and place far from that which you currently inhabit. and that when adulthood arrives the world will have changed so dramatically that you will be able to look around and recognize that the things that once shaped and defined your existence are no longer there, and that the only conclusion to be drawn is that childhood is now long behind you.

last night i was thinking about the concept of aging and of getting old, and of when (if ever) the day will come when i will look in the mirror and know with absolute certainty that this future has arrived. as i looked at myself in the mirror i didn’t feel old, but then i got into bed and turned on the television.

it was there that a news story appeared and the sense this future, that i had once thought would signal my awareness of adulthood, permeated my consciousness.

apparently, the military has just begun using a RAY GUN weapon that shoots a beam that makes people believe that they will catch fire.

wide-eyed with amazement i watched the news segment and thought to myself that if i could go back and tell the younger version of me that i was now living in a world with ray guns, younger me would tell me that this more so than the fact that almost all my friends are married (or soon to be) with kids (or soon to have) is definitive proof that the world i once knew is gone.

i have to admit it shook me for a moment, and a bit of fear crept into my mind. there’s only so long we can put off the responsibilities of adulthood, only so long that decisions can be made without serious concern to the long-term ramifications they might have. perhaps the time has truly now arrived when the finality of life as an adult sinks in.

thankfully, before my mind began to race too fast, the next story appeared…

a man with an acknowledged sexual fetish for female mannequins was sentenced to more than a year in prison after repeatedly breaking into storefront windows.

the man, Ronald Dotson, 39, was sentenced on charges of breaking and entering and being a habitual criminal. he had previously been arrested and convicted 6 times for b&e in the past 13 years (including one instance when police found him in an alley behind a women’s clothing store with three mannequins dressed in lingerie).

and suddenly i was at peace…

i may live in a world with ray guns, and i may in fact be an adult…but this isn’t something to be afraid of (well, maybe the ray guns a bit).

the one thing i think that most people fear as children when it comes to the idea of getting old, is the sense that you will have to lose some part of yourself in order to truly act like a grownup and exist in a grownup world.

but, i think that if i’ve made it to 28 with the sense that a story about a man with a fetish for lady mannequins is something hysterical to be watched and thoroughly enjoyed still intact, then i suppose that i should be okay from here on out (barring worldwide destruction due to ray gun technology) no matter what the future and life as an adult may hold.

Bam Bam

many of you know that for the better part of my life i was a professional wrestling fan. growing up i loved the action, excitement, and spectacle of pro wrestling with their larger than life characters and soap opera esque story lines.

in many ways pro wrestling is/was the modern day equivalent of the variety shows of decades passed. the blend of comedy, action, song and dance, and more made for a particularly enjoyable hour or two of television.

unfortunately, however, the life of a pro wrestler is often times a difficult one filled with emotional hardship and physical pain that comes from the constant wear and tear of travelling and performing around the world almost every day of the year. night in and night out these men and women put their bodies through tremendous amounts of punishment often leading to chronic injuries that are either a constant source of discomfort or worse, and they rarely get to spend time with their families and loved ones who they work so hard to support.

it is perhaps for these reasons (the physical and mental toll that the life requires) that many professional wrestlers over the years have turned to drugs (mainly pain killers) and alcohol to cope (i say this not as an excuse for their choices, but merely as fact). and as you might imagine (or might know) the use of such substances chronically leads to a large number of premature/unneccessary deaths among pro wrestlers.

and so it is with great sadness that i am here today writing about the too soon passing of another one of pro wrestlings all time greats. as yesterday Scott “Bam Bam” Bigelow was found dead in his Hudson, Florida home.

those familiar with pro wrestling (even casually) might recognize Bam Bam Bigelow by name, but more likely would recognize him by his massive size and his tattoo covered bald skull. he most famously feuded with and then wrestled Lawerence Taylor in a highly publicized match at Wrestlemania XI.

but my relationship with Mr. Bigelow runs deeper than that of a fan of his in ring work.

Scott Bigelow was born and lived for many years in Asbury Park, New Jersey (which for those of you unaware is the next town over from where i grew up). He could often be spotted around town riding on his motorcycle, and anyone who ever interacted with him would tell you that he was always especially gracious and kind, a lesson i learned for myself in the spring of 1997.

1997 was my senior year of high school, and as a vice president of our school’s DECA (business) club it was my job to help raise money to support the unexpectedly large number of club members who had qualified for nationals to be held that year in Anaheim, CA.

we (that is myself, our president, Jason Fromer, and several other members) had chosen for a fundraiser a “Battle Of The Teachers” event that would pit members of the faculty from different departments against each other in numerous “athletic” and “cerebral” events (dress em up relay, dizzy bat spin, tug of war, a trivia contest, etc).

we spent weeks acquiring local business sponsors to offer prizes for raffles, and hours convincing teachers and the administration to not only allow us to move forward with the plan, but to also participate (which basically meant making asses of themselves for our cause).

thankfully, things progressed relatively smoothly, and as the event approached we thought that we had things pretty much under control. but, of course, being the ambitious young men and women that we were, we thought that perhaps there might still be a way to ensure a greater success for the fundraiser.

now at the moment I can’t quite recall how the idea was raised or who raised it, but somehow we came up with the idea to see if we might be able to get our local celebrity Bam Bam Bigelow to agree to help us out and appear as a “guest referee.”

so, one afternoon after school (having failed in our attempt to acquire a contact phone number - being unlisted) Jason Fromer and I drove to Mr. Bigelow’s then known place of residence (and by known i mean rumored) and rang the doorbell.

a young woman (who we later learned to be his wife - since divorced) opened the door, and we asked to speak to Mr. Bigelow. at first she played coy, but after explaining our purpose in seeking out his help, she admitted that we did in fact have the right house, but that Mr. Bigelow was currently out of town.

she invited us inside and I remember the large amounts of Bam Bam paraphernalia that adorned the walls, honoring his numerous achievements from around the world. we then continued to further explain who we were, what we were doing, and why we wanted his help. finally, she said that she thought that he would be interested and she gave us their number to call back later in the week upon his return.

when we did finally speak to him and once again explained who we were and what we were doing, he instantly agreed to help us out and appear as the guest referee. then on top of that he also suggested that we charge money to people for autographed photos with him and that we keep and use all the money to help as well.

after relaying all this to our teacher and advisor, he insisted that we offer him some kind of appearance fee for being so generous. but, Bam Bam refused, saying that he was happy to do whatever he could for us, and that one day his son (who was in our school system) would be attending our high school, so he felt obligated to do what he deemed no big thing.

but, still our teacher felt somewhat uncomfortable in that we might be taking too great an advantage of his generousity, not to mention part of how he made his livelihood at the time(selling memorabilia - at that point he wasn’t wrestling too much) and so eventually, after we persisted, he suggested that a 6-pack of beer would make us square (and our teacher agreed to provide it), and so we were set.

the night of the event arrived and having done our job in promoting Bam Bam’s appearance that week in school, what we had projected to be a mildly profitable endeavor suddenly became a huge success.

hundreds of students, parents, and friends lined the gym’s bleachers to watch the teachers battle it out for department supremacy, and Bam Bam played the role of guest referee to perfection (even going so far as to at one point film a comedic wrestling segment with some of the people from our school’s tv program, spartan update, where he crushed one of the reporter’s wrestling alter ego in an impromptu match). at the intermission he set up for photos and autographs, and the money rolled in.

by night’s end, we had made almost enough to send everyone to Anaheim (eventually, appealing to the school board for the remaining amount - and receiving it, in part, due to the effort we had displayed in organizing the fundraiser).

unfortunately, due to my responsibilities as one of the organizers, i never got the chance that evening to get an autograph or a picture with Bam Bam, and for a while I always regretted not having it as a keepsake.

but, now, looking back, it’s easy to see that i got something worth a whole lot more than a photo and an autograph that night. i got something that i will have with me to remember the man and all that he did for me and the rest of us, even if it can’t be framed and hung on a wall…a story to tell.

RIP
Scott “Bam Bam” Bigelow
9/1/61 - 1/19/07

Certainty

there are two types of people in this world. people who believe there are two types of people in this world and people who don’t (perhaps you could argue for a third type — people who don’t care whether or not there are two types of people…but i think if pressed these people would eventually fall into one of the two aforementioned categories).

this is pretty much the only certainty i have been able to definitively reach in the now fastly approaching end to my 27th year (tuesday the 23rd, for all those potential well-wishers who might have forgotten).

everything else is still tbd.

some people will tell you that the only certainty in life is death and taxes. this is not only not a certainty, it’s a cliche, but it is also (as far as my logic goes) false.

as far as we know death is certain, but this is only because as of yet every person ever born has died. this isn’t to say that at some point someone might not die, or that science may discover a way to “cure” death. it just hasn’t happened yet. but who knows what the future may hold.

taxes on the other hand are something that everyone is subject to, and that most people pay (not always happily), but certainly not something that everyone pays.

take for example ed brown.

ed recently was found guilty of tax evasion and is now currently holed up with armed supporters in his fortress like new hampshire home (sigh, i’m really looking forward to seeing this one play out).

it’s people like ed who keep the the wheels of this blog turning, and who help further my certainty of the above mentioned statement (and coincidentally, i would guess that ed would fall under that category of people who do believe there are two types of people in the word — people who unquestioningly pay their taxes, and people who don’t).

so keep up the good work ed (and by good work i don’t mean tax evasion, rather just keeping us regular folk on our toes), the world of uncertainties is counting on you.

Marathon Man

when people decide to have a conversation with each other during a movie it is not only annoying, but also rude.

however, when one person has a conversation with themself during a movie it is just plain weird.

and yet this was the situation i encountered this past weekend while seeing a showing of Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer. As throughout the entire movie, the woman in the row behind me and my brother continued to have a running stream of commentary (mostly semi-coherent, non-sequiturs) come out of her mouth. I have yet to decide whether this made the movie better or worse.

in other news, i am finally caught up to speed on battlestar galactica. this was accomplished in part due to yesterday’s season 3 marathon on the sci-fi channel. that’s right, yesterday i did absolutely nothing but watch 10 glorious hours of battlestar galactica (well, not quite 10, because i got to fast forward through commercials — thanks tivo).

needless to say, that this is a lot of tv watching for one day, even for me. but, i didn’t stop there. i also took a break at one point to watch the knicks game, and then later in the evening after my brother got back from class, the evening was capped by the final two hours of the season premiere of 24.

by that point in the evening my eyes hurt and my brain kinda felt like cottage cheese, but as jack bauer will tell you, sometimes sacrifices have to be made (he kills and tortures people indiscriminately, i watch 2 more hours of tv - same difference).

anyways, in light of my recent binge, i feel the need to be more productive than usual in the next couple of days, and so for now…

i’m ghost.

We're Not Gonna Protest

yesterday evening on my way home i encountered an iraq war protest induced traffic jam on los feliz blvd.

now, trust me when i say i dislike george w. just as much as the next guy (unless the next guy happens to be a born again republican), and believe me when i tell you that there would be almost nothing more pleasing than to see an end to the needless killing and chaos that is the current state of things in iraq.

however, one of the things that would be more pleasing is not sitting in traffic needlessly.

look, don’t get me wrong, if you could somehow guarantee me that sitting in traffic would mean an end to the war then i would (probably) grit my teeth and bare it. but this isn’t the case. there is no way that last night’s traffic jam and/or protest will have any affect on this administration’s policy in iraq.

so, i don’t really see the need for you to set your protest up in a high traffic area that will only prove effective at disrupting the evening commute (as opposed to say the forthcoming troop surge — said protest’s apparent goal).

then again…maybe these protesters are unknowingly on to something.

perhaps, their intention was in fact to disrupt traffic and to piss everyone off.

while some might consider this strategy dangerous, as it runs the risk of annoying and thereby alienating supporters of their cause. maybe, just maybe, the protesters realize that if there’s one thing that all people (regardless of political ideology) hate, it’s sitting in traffic.

perhaps the protesters secret agenda is to now disrupt the flow of traffic as much as possible until only one logical conclusion remains.

the traffic jams will continue until the war ends.

this, the more i think of it, might actually be an effective way to end the war. imagine the outrcy from millions of americans if their daily commutes were disrupted constantly.

if this is your new strategy, then i guess i take back what i previously said.

and to you now, protesters, i say…well played.

In The Mix

a big, hearty welcome to burt young (aka paulie) the latest celebrity to join my list. burt was kicking it at the baggage claim outside the jetblue terminal of burbank airport last thursday evening. my brother and i spotted him as we were waiting for his (my brother’s) luggage.

the rest of the weekend was pretty low-key. the majority of it spent watching football and season 2 of the wire.

i also finally got around to seeing pan’s labyrinth, which was, as i expected, outstanding. had i managed to see it prior to compiling my top ten list it would have definitely earned a place of recognition. anyways, as you might guess, i would highly recommend it.

i also just finished reading an outstanding book called “love is a mixtape” by rob sheffield, a music journalist who writes for rollingstone and other music-oriented publications. the book is an account of how music has played a role in his life, specifically in regards to his relationship with his now deceased wife renee who died 5 years after they were married (at the age of 31).

anyways, along with being a touching statement about love and loss, the book also talks about and made me think about the fact that (sadly) the mixtape is basically an extinct relic from a time long ago.

sure, we still have ipod playlists, which are definitely the modern equivalent. but i think, at the risk of sounding like a character from high fidelity, that there is something to be said about the lack of care and consideration that goes into compiling an ipod playlist as opposed to a mixtape.

mostly this would be due to the fact that a playlist doesn’t require you to make your selections with the same restrictions (and therefore the same skill and precision) that a tape does (i.e. 45 min per side).

that said, i am making it a goal of mine for the upcoming year to compile monthly “mixtapes.” now, granted, these will still be done on and for my ipod, but i plan to craft them in the same way that one would a tape. meaning that i will try and break them down so that they (the playlist) doesn’t exceed 90 min, and so that they could also be further seperated into two 45 min sides (or perhaps i may opt for the cd route - meaning 80min run times and (obviously) only one side — the reasoning behind this choice would be to preserve the “tapes” in a format other than just on my ipod for posterity’s sake).

in a way that is very similar to (some of) my reasonings behind starting this blog a year ago, i think that monthly mixtapes will (some years from now) prove not only insightful, but also enjoyable in a nostalgiac sense allowing me to look back on and see how certain songs were playing a part in my life during this time.

Year 2

so this is the new year…

i hope everyone had a good new years and i hope everyone is enjoying the first few days of ‘07 (i did and i am respectively).

this is actually quite a momentous occasion for my blog. for those of you keeping count, this is my 100th post (cue whistles, bells, confetti, horns, etc.).

this blog began a little over one year ago now in December 05, and i have to admit i’m slightly surprised that i have managed to maintain it with (relatively) frequent consistency throughout the past year (i.e. enough to equal 100 posts, or 1 every 3.68 days or so).

hopefully, this coming year will bring more blog worthy topics to discuss as well as numerous anecdotes to entertain you all. i suppose i might even to be so bold as to suggest, that perhaps i may even increase the frequency with which i post (maybe getting it down to 1 every 3.5 days or something).

of course, there are forces conspiring to prevent this all from occurring. and i must face the prospect that a) i will not only be unable to achieve the maintaining of this blog for the entire year but b) i might be dead before the year is out.

now, let me assure you, my legions of adoring readers, i have no plans to die in the coming year and i promise that nothing short of death (or perhaps serious incapacitation) will stop me from blogging.

however, word has come that 2007 may bring with it death to us infidels in the form of mass killings through terrorist attacks…or at least so sayeth pat robertson

that’s right. apparently god and pat recently had a chat, and god informed pat that the later days of 2007 will be marred by a major terrorist attack, affecting millions of americans in major cities.

“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” Mr. Robertson said. “The lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

wow.

first off, i’d like to say that this is a downer. not exactly the way i had envisioned starting things off in ‘07 (or ending things either, i suppose).

obviously some questions immediately come to mind:
1. do terrorists consider la to be a major city?
2. would downtown be the most likely target for any attack on la?
3. do i live far enough from downtown to survive said attack if it were of the nuclear variety.

undoubtedly, the answer to the first question would be yes. presumably, there would be a yes to the second question as well. as to the third, i’m not sure — though my initial guess would be in the words of the magic 8 ball - outcome not so good.

so, i suppose this puts a serious kink into any future plans for 2008 and beyond…but, i guess what it also does is help to give me a new sense of purpose to ‘07.

maybe, now more so than ever, there is the need to approach each day with the vigor and appreciation that it might be one of the last. to understand and embrace the fact that life is a gift not to be wasted or squandered.

in some ways this blog…year 2…could end up being the final, lasting testament to my life, my accomplishments (or lack thereof), and to how i lived knowing that mass killings were mere months away.

presumably, this should make for a much more interesting blog this year…as i will hopefully get out and live a life with greater adherence to the above mentioned principles (which would then transitively provide more interesting things to blog/read about).

then again, i suppose there’s the chance that 2007 will just be more of the same for me. more sitting around watching lots of television and films, spending the majority of my time at the computer writing, going out occassionally, if at all, and blogging about things that really aren’t that amazing to begin with (albeit in an entertaining and enjoyable manner).

maybe i’ll just continue to live my life exactly as i have been the past 27+ years or so. maybe, i won’t let the terrorists and their impending attacks affect how i go about my existence, and perhaps this will be my final lasting memory.

how in the face of death, i laughed at the terrorists and said - i like being lazy and not going out and doing too much, and fuck you if you think that i’m gonna radically change how i live just because you’re going to be killing millions of us (potentially including me) later this year.

then again, i suppose there’s the chance that god didn’t speak to pat robertson.

i guess we’ll find out…

Film

here we go…just in time before the final hours of ‘06 tick off, the top 10 list is complete (sort of - i still didn’t get to see pan’s labyrinth). anyways, just a note on selection, these picks don’t necessarily mean that i think these were the 10 most critically accomplished films of the year (i.e. the films that will/should be nominated for oscars), rather they represent the 10 films which i most enjoyed this past year.

let’s kick it.

10. The Fountain - darren aronofsky’s trippy, complex, science fiction love story of epic proportions. at times confusing, always visually breathtaking, this film was one were i left the theater feeling overwhelmed as if the film itself had permeated my consciousness. as opposed to wondering what it was about, all i could think of was how much it affected me.

9. Casino Royale - the latest bond flick was stripped of all the outrageous gimmicks that had held down and limited many of the recent 007 entries and what was left was the origins of the man whose last name is synonomous with action. daniel craig’s portrayal while perhaps not as iconic as connery’s will eventually be considered (in my opinion) the most complex and satisfying of anyone to ever utter the words, “bond, james bond.”

8. Letters From Iwo Jima - the second of two films by clint eastwood about the assault of the small island in the south pacific was another example of eastwood’s mastery of minimalist filmmaking. the story was moving, the stark, desaturated cinematography was beautiful and a perfect compliment to the subject matter. and in contrast to flags of our fathers, letters never strayed too far from the heart of the story with its structure and flashbacks and therefore was able to maintain a narrative flow much more engaging and satisfying then before.

7. Borat - easily the funniest film of the year, and perhaps in a while. sacha baron cohen’s portrayl is part sketch comedy, part improv, and part peformance art. by using his simple minded borat as a juxtaposition to those he interacts with, cohen turns a mirror on the society we live in to expose the comedy of outrageousness that exists among us throughout all slices of life.

6. Dreamgirls - a flashy, stylish, and mesmerizing musical that leaves you wanting to clap after perfomances as if you were seeing them live. the acting and singing are impressive and at times amazing, bill condon’s second venture into the film world of musicals (chicago) is far more successful in execution and enjoyable in all aspects then he he was previously able to accomplish, leaving dreamgirls as my favorite musical this side of moulin rouge.

5. The Descent - pure, unadulterated horror the classic way. with more attention paid to substance over style (not that it lacks in that department either), the descent is a film that leaves you on the edge of your seat and terrified and not just because of the monsters.

4. The Departed - classic scorsese. this top notch ensemble cast execute the remake of the hong kong action thriller “infernal affairs” impeccably. whether or not the film leads to scorsese receiving his first directing oscar is irrelevant, what it has proven is that he is still capable of making thrilling, violent, and complex films that leave you completely satisfied.

3. Little Children - full of oscar caliber performances, this adaptation of tom perrotta’s book of the same name (also the author of election) is an audacious, disturbing and darkly humorous take on difficult subject matter (including infedility and pedophilia). director todd field employs the use of a dry voice over that is one of the most effective uses of the technique (ironically enough, or perhaps not) this side of Election. with an end result being a film that is an unflinching and unscathing dissection of the darker sides that can be found in corners of the insulated worlds most people inhabit.

2. Brick - the most original vision of any film i saw this past year. rian johnson’s modern day noir set in and around the world of high school uses the conventions of classic noir but inserts them into a world that allows for his characters to exist in a setting that is not bound by the same constrictions often found in the genre. the story, the language, and the characters are at once familiar but also distinctly original. the result is refreshing, engaging, and intense.

1. United 93 - hands down the best film of the year. in my opinion if paul greengrass’s docudrama about the passengers aboard the september 11 flight that crashed in pennsylvania doesn’t get nominated and win best picture it will be a travesty. the film is gripping, brave, terrifying, and heart-wrenching all at once. though the outcome is set before we even begin to watch, we never for a moment stop hoping that perhaps the ending will not be what we already know to be true. the cinema verite style only adds to the tension and impact of this portrayal of the final hours of the lives of american citizens who upon the realization of their fates stood tall and made the ultimate sacrifice in answering the challenges that many people (not just americans) have faced throughout history in order to help ensure that a life of freedom for future generations is not only possible, but appreciated and embraced.

okay…happy new year to everyone reading…be safe and i wish you all a wonderful and healthy 2007. see you next year.

Music

so when i said the next three days obviously i meant the next three posts. which isn’t to say that i didn’t have every intention of compiling and posting said lists on consecutive days, but apparently i seemed to have underestimated the time it would take to attend to this task (this is probably compounded by laziness on my part — something which considering it was practically the basis for this very blog seems somewhat fitting to be bookending the year).

anyways. as i said the lists are slow in being finished and this can mostly be directly attributed to two things (not counting the laziness — which affects everything indirectly).

1) i was hoping to see Pan’s Labyrinth and The Good Shepherd before finalizing my top ten film list as there exists the possibility that either or both (most likely pan’s labyrinth from what i hear) might necessitate a spot on the list…and i have not (yet) seen them.

2) i came to the conclusion that compiling a top ten music list is an extremely difficult task, mostly because i have the tendency to (in no doubt facilitated by my ipod/itunes) listen to playlists/mixes and/or the music i like the most, repeatedly. which is to say, going back through the past year’s “albums” has proved a time consuming effort. as i, at times, have had to relisten to certain albums to recall just how much i liked the overall album, as opposed to the numerous songs from said album that can be found on several of these aforementioned ipod playlists.

nevertheless, i have my top ten music list finished it is as follows (you might notice that my descriptions of some of these albums are shorter than my descriptions for television and presumably for film — this is due mostly to the fact that i’m not quite as capable of talking about music critically in the same way that i am in -theoretically- capable of talking about film and tv…also i’m quite tired at the moment):

10. Classified - Hitch Hikin Music — underground hip hop/rap straight from the streets of nova scotia, canada, classified’s latest (his 11th for those keeping count at home) and arguably his best album is full of solid storytelling delivered with an even, effortless flow over some outstanding beats all produced by class.

9. Jenny Lewis With The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat — jenny lewis, also known as the lead singer of rilo kiley makes her solo debut here in one of the most enjoyable and impressive albums all year.

8. The Roots - Game Theory — everything that you would expect from one of the most musically gifted, consistent and diverse bands not only in hip hop but throughout the entire music industry today.

7. Every Move A Picture - Heart = Weapon — one of my favorite albums all year (obviously), but in a way that transcends inclusion on this list. with a sound reminiscent of Oingo Boingo updated for the year 2006, this album is from start to finish the type of music to make you bob your head unknowingly while you’re driving in the car.

6. Jude - Redemption — one of my favorite singer songwriters, he ranks right up with rufus wainwright for his ability to craft pop melodies that are both simple in scope and complex in their arrangements. has drawn comparisons to jason mraz for his wordplay and lyrical style, but on closer inspection his music is revealed to be far more interesting and his songs much more impactful.

5. The Dears - Gang Of Losers — another band hailing from our neighbors up north, though from montreal this time. the dears are one of the few remaining bands from the last few years who’s band name starts with the word the that i still enjoy listening to. they play orchestral pop and their lead singer sounds like and writes like morrissey.

4. Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood — part of the new pornographers family, neko case’s latest cd is an outstanding selection of alt-country and americana music that features haunting melodies along with her devestating voice.

3. Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere — musically unlike anything else that came out this year. i’m sure almost all of you reading this have heard the cd, and realize that nothing i could write here could truly describe the uniqueness (is that a word?) of their work.

2. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife — one of my all time favorite bands’ latest release is nothing short of spectacular. first and foremost colin meloy (lead singer) is a storyteller and the songs on this album do not disappoint in this area. encompassing styles ranging from pop to ballad, the crane wife (and all work by the decemberists) is not to be missed.

1. Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit — cross out the “one of” and you have my all time favorite band’s latest release. the album is absolutely and utterly amazing from start to finish, and is definitely their most accessible record to date. full of pop rock songs that will get stuck in your head for weeks, i implore you to check out this album (and others by b&s) and i defy you not to love them.

okay…that is all…but before i go i leave you with this…

problems in logic:

never trust a big butt and a smile
that girl is poison.

but what if the girl tells you not to trust her?

TV

ah…the final days of 2006 are upon us. inevitably, this means it is the time of the year to look back and reflect on the days passed. it also (apparently means) it is time for top 10 lists.

everywhere i look it seems like people are using these final days of the year (except letterman - he’s consistent with his top 10 lists all year round) to assemble top 10 lists for everything imaginable.

in theory, i like the idea of a top ten list as it often allows me to see if perhaps i might have missed something worth checking out. however, inherently, top 10 lists are flawed because they are subjective, and therefore are subject to including things that i think suck (or at the least just not as good as things that were left off said lists).

so, in the spirit of the times i will be compiling my top ten lists over the next 3 days to share with you my thoughts on the past year’s best in tv, music, and film. and as i said these being subjective lists feel free to disagree with my views.

anyways…first off will be television, mostly because this one is the (in my opinion) easiest to think of. but, before i reveal my picks i must preface them with a disclaimer. this is the fact that while i do watch a shitload of television, i do not watch every show and so obviously my picks are limited to shows that i watch, which admittedly is probably more than most and probably includes most of the one’s worth watching.

that said my list will be absent of two shows that i suspect might have been on there under different circumstances — that being The Wire and Battlestar Galactica. said circumstances are due to the fact that these are two shows that i have only recently begun watching (on dvd - during this rerun down period that the holidays provide). so while I can speak to the first season and miniseries respectively of the these two aformentioned shows (both unbelievably good), i cannot comment on there most recent/current seasons that have aired during 2006 — therefore they cannot be included.

okay. one last note about selection, since this list represents the best of 2006, meaning calender year, it is open to any show that aired during the months between last january and now. which will technically include shows from last season of television. however, i am not going to include shows that are a) from last season and no longer on the air - like Invasion which was one of the finest shows on television last fall/spring or b) only ran for a limited number of episodes in 2006 - like Thief the fx show/miniseries which was outstanding, or Arrested Development - one of the greatest shows ever which had it’s final episodes aired last february (though i suppose that arrested also falls under category a).

anyways.

so, now, without further ado…

The Top 10 Shows On TV

10. Lost - between the conclusion of last season and the start of this season the show has been uneven, frustrating, and poorly spaced out, hampering it’s ability to sustain any sort of narrative continuity or pacing. that said, when it’s on it remains one of the most intriguing and well-made hours of television ever. the fact that i (along with many others) can get so annoyed with the show when it’s not delivering like it’s capable only speaks to the promise and potential it has displayed in the past 2+ seasons, and it still remains one of the shows that i am most looking forward to returning in the new year.

9. Rescue Me - denis leary and peter tolan’s fx series is one of the hardest shows on television to classify. while i suppose technically considered a drama, it is also one of the funniest shows on television - albeit, only for those who appreciate dark comedy, which i do. morbidly funny would certainly be an appropriate term for a show whose subject matter often includes topics not found anywhere else on television (including but not limited to: death, alcoholism, infidelity, rape, homosexuality, and life as a firefighter in nyc post 9/11). but, regardless of the subject matter the show is always well-written and denis leary’s performance for the last 3 seasons has been consistently one of the best on television.

8. Dexter - this brilliant new showtime series was one of the most enjoyable hours on television this fall. at first i was hesistant to add another show into the rotation, but thankfully i gave the show a chance, and it certainly was a good thing that i did. similar in many respects to Rescue Me as far as the darkly humorous tone is concerned, this drama about a forensic police officer serial killer who kills serial killers has a ton of potential as the series progresses, and i am anxiously awaiting the second season.

7. The Office - the first comedy on the list, technically/traditionally speaking, though nothing about this show’s comedy is traditional. relying on the unspoken to provide much of the show’s best moments, the ensemble cast is by far the best collection of comedic talent on television (as also evidenced by how many cast members work as writers on the show as well). yet, like other shows on the list, though a comedy and oftentimes hysterical, the show is also about more than being funny, it’s about interacting with others a task that is often difficult if not painful, but due to the grace and talent of the cast and writers never false or cartoonish.

6. Heroes - conceptually speaking this is hands down my favorite show on television. the first half of the show’s first season has been breathtaking and thrilling, and it has set up a second half that if it remains true to form might provide the most enjoyable television watching this spring. the only things holding it back right now in my opinion are the delicate balancing act between the members of the large ensemble cast, some of who’s storylines are weaker than others, that occasionally leads to uneven episodes (or perhaps more accurately - uneven parts of episodes). also, there marketing campaigns are really annoying — but, i suppose the show itself isn’t to blame.

5. Friday Night Lights - along with Heroes this show is my favorite new show on television. the show which has the basic premise of what life is like playing high school football in the state of texas, is in actuality about much more than just football. it is a show about life, love, friendship, growing up, making mistakes, and about overcoming the obstacles that are put in front of us by no choice of our own. and all of these things are portrayed in a gritty, realistic way that never minimalizes the everyday problems that the characters face, while also tackling (no pun intended) the major ones that come their way.

4. 24 - last season’s 24 was quite possibly the finest season yet for the show. most of the cringe-inducing plot points (kim bauer, cougar, heroin addictions, etc) were all disposed off and the show was left with a lean intensity that never seemed to slow down when it came to action, thrills, and twists. and though at times the show borders on being propoganda for the bush administration’s policy on torture and when it’s necessary (pretty much always in the world of jack bauer), the show nevertheless never really tries to be deliberately political or philosophical as this would mean time that would have to be spent taking away from the action.

3. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia - without a doubt the funniest fucking show on television. perhaps the funniest show since seinfeld, and at times, yes, funnier. the show’s second season (with the inclusion of danny devito) really hit its stride, as the writing got stronger and the scenes truly turned into well-crafted episodes as opposed to moments of hilarity as was occasionally the case in the first season. in contrast to say Rescue Me’s use of taboo topics for darkly comedic moments, It’s Always Sunny is built entirely on the premise of using the same topics as the basis for entire episodes. racism, patriotism, homosexuality, abortion, the middle east, incest, pedophilia, and the handicapped to name a few, provide the basis for plotlines that leave me at times crying from laughter.

2. The Shield - in reality, The Shield is probably 1a, as the truth of the matter is that no show on television is as gripping, well-written, well-acted, and well-directed as The Shield is from episode to episode. the show takes place in a world of grey where morality, ethics, and the line between right and wrong are things that exist but in an ever shifting state to accomodate and serve whatever the current situation dictates. the show asks viewers to essentially identify with a cop (and his crew) who is at best corrupt and at worst no better than the criminals he is trying to put away.

1. Deadwood - david milch’s tension soaked western/drama will go down in my opinion as one of the greatest shows ever to air on television. the show’s premise of life in the frontier town for which the show is named in the dakota territories circa the 1870s doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface as to what the show is/was about. the show, while touching on topics ranging from violence, death, profanity, sex, growth, expansion, technology, alliances, race, corruption, to so much more, was often less about the occurence of these things then it was more so about their very possibility. all portrayed in a lyrical style with some of the most impressive dialogue ever uttered and captured by film. the decision not to continue with another season of the show was one of the greatest disappointments for me this past year (as least so far as television is concerned), and though some small measure of comfort can be taken in knowing that two two-hour tv movies are in the works, it will be extremely difficult to fill the sense of satisfaction and awestruck admiration that an hour of Deadwood left me with.

A Thin Line

there is a thin line between cool and pathetic.

case in point, this afternoon while i was grocery shopping there was a middle-aged man (i’ll guestimate 50) wearing a t-shirt with a logo of a car. above said car were the words, “my other ride is your mother.”

now, believe me, i am as guilty as anyone of wearing semi-ironic t-shirt designs from time to time, but i like to think that (even if i’m still living in los angeles) by the time i reach this age i will have given up on trying to dress like a hipster (which isn’t really why i wear these t-shirts now — usually it’s because they are really comfortable due to the type of cotton they’re made from — and that said, i don’t have any shirts proclaiming that i ride anything).

because the only thing that went through my mind upon seeing this guy was that he was absolutely pathetic for trying to pull this shirt off.

first off, let’s consider how this violates one of the primary principles of comedy (something obviously he was attempting to convey with a shirt containing such a “witty” slogan). things that are (or might be) true, generally aren’t as funny. therefore when a guy wearing a t-shirt that says, “my other ride is your mother” is actually around the same age as my mother, where is the comedy in that? It’s just strange.

of course, since the t-shirt didn’t say alex’s mother, it was generic, let’s consider another possibility. was he intending the comment to be read by his peers? is his other ride an 80 year old woman? see, now it’s just creepy.

there’s really no interpration of that slogan that is going to justify his wearing it.

that said, now let us investigate the possibilities of this same t-shirt on an 80 year old man.

now that would be both ironic and funny…and I would say therefore that this was a man walking with both feet firmly implanted on the cool side of the line.

in the same way if the guy’s shirt said my other ride is your grandmother, i probably would have laughed. come to think of it, i think that t-shirt would be universally funny. No matter what age the person was who was wearing it, it would work.

picture it on a 14 year old
picture it on a 25 year old
picture it on a 50 year old
picture it on a 80 year old.

funny every time (and yes there is a difference between the 50 year old wearing the mother shirt if i interpret it as being directed towards his peers and thereby meaning 80 year old women as opposed to the 50 year old wearing the grandmother shirt. mostly due to the fact that if he’s wearing the grandmother shirt it’s a conscious decision on his part to put out the message that he fucks grandmothers, and that’s funny.)

but, alas, there are no, “my other ride is your grandmother” t-shirts out there (yet).

A

i am jewish (for those of you who were previously unaware). the fact that i am jewish, however, is not what i intend to discuss in this post (at least not directly).

what i do intend to discuss is santa claus, i mention that i am jewish in order to frame this discussion (or one way conversation or what have you) as coming from someone who does not and has never believed (nor had any reason to believe) in santa claus.

that said, the fact that i do not (nor have i ever) believe(d) in santa claus is also not what this post is about.

no, this post is about the fact that i am confused and am seeking clarification from someone (preferably a christian — or perhaps an english professor — i suppose ideally a christian english professor) as to whether or not i am grossly misunderstanding the title of NBC’s forthcoming holiday special, “The Year Without a Santa Claus.”

the way i see it (based on my understanding of both the english language and christmas) this title should be “The Year Without Santa Claus,” and there should be no “a” included.

the inclusion of said letter “a” leads me to believe that either:

1) there exists the possibility that my understanding of the man, Santa Claus, is not correct and that perhaps there is more than one Santa Claus.
or
2) there exists the possibility that my understanding of indefinite articles is not correct and the use of the “a” is absolutely fine.

i am, however, relatively certain that my desire to engage in a discussion over what may turn out to be a semantic point involving the letter “a” and Santa Claus has everything to do with my being a semite (in that sense i suppose this is a blog about my being jewish).

nevertheless.

let’s assume my understanding of christian religious iconography is correct at least so far as to conclude that there is only one (theoretical) Santa Claus.

now, i was always under the impression that although he could be referred to in any number of ways (St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, etc), being referred to as Santa Claus was one of these accepted and agreed upon designations.

therefore Santa Claus was and is a proper noun.

therefore the letter ‘a’ should not precede it. right?

(presumably) you would not say

A World Without A Jesus
Easter Without A(n) Easter Bunny
Eternity In Hell With A Satan
etc

that is unless you were referring to a proper noun of which there was more than one of in existence.

A Day Without A Mexican (a very thought provoking film i might add)
A Country Without A President
etc.

or unless you were referring to someone other than the actual figure. (i.e. she dressed up as an easter bunny for halloween. he has a jesus complex — which i don’t really know exactly what this would mean, but you get the point).

so perhaps this NBC special is not referring to the actual Santa Claus. maybe it’s a film about a town that passes an ordinance banning anyone from dressing up as or impersonating Santa…no, i just read the blurb, it’s about the “real” Santa Claus losing his faith in Christmas.

so, i’m back to square one. confused.

i’ve always stated my belief that one of the reasons why those of us of the jewish persuasion are so neurotic stems from childhood trauma over the winter holiday period.

see as christians you know that every year on Dec. 25th you will be celebrating christmas.

as jews we have to deal with the fact that there are umpteen different ways of spelling hanukkah (hanukah, hannukah, hannukka, chanukah, channukah, channukkah, chanukkah, etc.), and you never really know when precisely it will occur. it changes yearly.

for a kid that’s a lot to deal with. but deal with it we do.

but now, maybe, perhaps, there are some little christian children out there wondering if their understanding of Santa Claus (the very foundation of the holiday that provides them this stability to prevent years of confusion and stress) is incorrect.

and i worry about the fragile nature of their minds, and whether or not they can survive such a catastrophic shattering of their existence.

so, please, if anyone has any insight into what is what here, or can clarify and/or clear up any of my misconceptions do not hesitate to let me know.

think of the children.

Weekend Recap

a big hearty welcome to Dominic Monaghan who is the latest addition to the list of celebrities i have seen. spotted inside the Arclight lobby this past saturday as my brother and i were exiting after having seen Stranger Than Fiction (very enjoyable), he was standing in line to buy tickets (to what, i’m unsure).

otherwise the rest of the weekend was enjoyable and (as usual) low key. i also saw Babel (ehh), and watched Kicking and Screaming (the noah baumbach version - which was quite good and recommended to anyone who liked The Squid and The Whale).

this week is going along swimmingly so far, as i’ve been getting back into the regular routine of my life in los angeles…which coincidentally (or perhaps not) is strikingly similar to my life when i was not in la (a bit more writing with less weddings and golf).

tomorrow one of my all time favorite films (Bernardo Bertolucci’s Il Conformista aka The Confromist). is finally being released on dvd so needless to say i’m excited. for those of you who appreciate a good flick, check out this Italian masterpiece, you will not be disappointed (if you are, then you’re stupid).

now it is time to get ready for this evening’s television, and so i bid you all adieu.

The Weather Is Wonderful

hey kids.

happy belated thanksgiving to you all and welcome to december. i’m back in la after my extended trip to the east coast for some (extremely enjoyable) weddings in nyc and (also enjoyable) thanksgiving festivities in the f-l-a.

all in all good times. though, needless to say, the trips were not entirely without incident (i am really beginning to wonder if these things happen more often when i’m around, or if i’m just more prone to noticing).

anyways. the first such incident occurred on my flight from newark to ft. lauderdale shortly before thanksgiving. upon boarding the plane i noticed several passengers wearing surgical masks. now my initial thoughts were that these people were just germophobes and the notion of being trapped in a giant tomb of bacteria (an airplane) for several hours was too much to bear without the use of a filter (something which i could totally respect). however, this soon proved to be not entirely accurate, as shortly before departing the stewardess came over the intercom and spoke the following:

“good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, today several of our passengers onboard have an extremely severe allergy to peanuts and so we will only be able to serve potato chips or our dorito mix for snacking on, and we ask that if any passengers have packed a meal that may contain peanuts that you please refrain from eating it while onboard. we apologize for any inconvenience and should be on our way shortly. thank you.”

okay, first off, being that jetblue’s entire inflight meal service is built around the bring your own meal model this seems like information that might be worth mentioning to passengers before getting on to the plane. like, say, perhaps, in the terminal, when customers might (in theory) be deciding between buying a turkey sandwich or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat in an hour...or in the event that they had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with them they would have the time/ability to find an alternative/suitable substitute before boarding (no, i was not affected by either scenario — i had purchased a turkey sandwich in the first place. that said, i did consider the idea of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before leaving my parents' house only to decide in the end that i was too lazy to make a sandwich and would instead buy one once arriving at the airport. laziness 1 - frugality 0).

my point being i would have been (probably more than) slightly annoyed had i been stuck on a 3 hour flight with only potato chips and dorito mix as sustenance. however, my annoyance (probably) would have paled in comparison to someone who was dying from exposure to peanuts (i say probably because there's just no way of knowing how annoyed i would have been...a lot would have depended on how hungry i was).

so my next question is, if you have that great an allergy to peanuts (one that requires the use of surgical masks and pleas to fellow airline passengers to refrain from consuming peanuts or peanut based products less the particles become airborne and kill you in order to allow for group travel) don’t you think that perhaps you might want to rethink the method of transportation you're using in order to arrive at your holiday destination?

the next incident occurred the wednesday evening before thanksgiving. my family got some chinese food take in for dinner. upon finishing the meal i cracked open a fortune cookie and was graced with the following words of wisdom, “the weather is wonderful.”

what the fuck?

not only was this not a fortune, but it was patently false. it was really, really cold outside (esp. for south florida), and rainy. perhaps it was meant in a more metaphoric sense i.e. a gauge of my temperament. but again this would've been false, and nevermore so than after receiving a fortune stating the weather is wonderful.

the last thing that occurred happened on the flight back to los angeles. this one didn’t really affect me directly, but i think it deserves note nevertheless. in the middle of the flight the stewardess came over the intercom and asked for anyone on board who was a doctor or a physician to push their call button as there was a health emergency with one of the passengers.

generally speaking these words are probably the 2nd worst thing to hear from a stewardess in midflight (behind only, “if anyone on board is a pilot or has any flying experience please push the call button.”).

this is because health emergencies on long flights always raise the possibility of having to divert to another airport so that the sick person can be rushed to the hospital, or worse someone dying midflight and once again having to divert so that the dead body can be removed (and you thought being stuck onboard with the potential to breath in air circulating with peanut particles was hazardous to your health). thankfully, whatever the emergency was, we did not have to divert and therefore no serious delays occurred…though we did have to stay on the plane upon landing for several more minutes so that emt’s could get the sick person off first.

and that about sums up my last 3 weeks.

Sweet Irony

or those of you who don’t follow sports, earlier today bo schembechler, the legendary university of michigan football coach, passed away on the eve of the biggest college football game of the year. as tomorrow the heated rivalry between the wolverines of umich face the buckeyes of ohio state with the winner all but assured a spot in the national championship game. in fact in all the years of this rivalry, tomorrow will mark the first time that the teams will meet while being ranked numbers 1 and 2 respectively in the polls.

but, this is not a blog about college football, at least not completely. no, this is a blog about the hazards of choosing a name for your punk rock band.

see, there’s a punk rock band from the columbus, ohio area who since the early 1990s have been playing under the name of the dead schembechlers.

and for the 16 some odd years of this band’s existence their name has been nothing but a knowing jab at the heated rivalry that exists between fans of these respective schools (and more importantly their football teams)…but now that bo is actually dead, their name is nothing else if not inappropriate and creepy.

so, now, the dead schembechlers, having to deal with the consequences of what happens when you name your band after a person who later passes away have apparently played their final performance under this moniker.

if the band continues on they have stated that they will change their name (presumably this time to something other than the dead - insert name here -).

so to all you folks out there thinking about starting a band, let this be a warning to you. choose carefully.

take it from me…last week i came this close to naming my new band “I Got Shot And A Riot Ensued While Trying To Buy A PSP3.” boy, that would have been awkward.

and now my anecdote about ordering food with a bug and hair in it

and now my anecdote about my ordering food two weeks ago only to have it to arrive with a bug and a hair in it and my ensuing conversation with people from the restaurant from which the food came.

so, two sundays ago (11/5) my brother and i ordered food for dinner from this place called Sultani Restaurant (a little middle eastern place on la brea). we both ordered the same dish, a number 1. which consists of a ground beef koobideh sandwich and a side of hummus. i ordered a side of rice with mine, my brother did not.

we had on previous occassions ordered from Sultani before, but in the past our order had consisted of only their vegetarian platter (1 container each of hummus, baba ghanouj, and tabouleh).

so it was somewhat of an unknown as to what venturing further down their menu would bring us on this particular night. as it turned out, the only thing it ended up bringing us was an overwhelming feeling of nausea and a story for the blog.

the food took quite a while to be delivered, which is never a good sign. i mention this mostly so that you might be cognizant of how hungry we were when the food finally arrived. i suppose the fact that we had practically no other food in the house also merits mentioning.

anyways. after more than an hour the food finally arrived, which we gladly accepted from the delivery guy and got ready to eat.

i opened up the first container which held the sandwich and hummus and assumed that since there was no rice that it belonged to my brother. so i passed it to him and grabbed the other container. slowly i opened the second container. the first thing that i saw was that this container was also missing rice. this disappointed me. however my disappointment quickly disappeared as i noticed that instead of rice my container contained a bug inside (which as far as i was concerned was not an acceptable substitute).

immediately a wave of nausea hit as i said aloud, “there is a bug in my food.”

my brother looked over to confirm that indeed i was not hallucinating and in fact my sandwich had been served up with a side of bug. i’m not entirely sure as to what kind of bug it was. perhaps a small cockroach.

anyways, i suppose what happened next is something that i deserve at least some of the blame for.

the bug was not actually touching the sandwich it was in one of those sectioned styrofoam containers, and so after a brief moment of contemplation my brother said he would take the food with the bug in it. again, be mindful of the state of food in our apartment was little and the time we had waited already to eat was long.

i kept saying no, that there was no way i could eat from this restaurant now, or ever again. but eventually, i caved, and i handed my brother my container and took his. i took a bite of the sandwich and to be honest i didn’t taste anything as the only thing i could think of was the bug.

in fact, i pretty much zoned out in a shell-shocked sort of way. alternately taking bites of the sandwich and scoops of hummus with pita. it therefore took a few moments after my brother said, “um, what’s that?” that i registered he was referring to my food. i looked down at the dish i was eating from, and there in the middle of my side of hummus was a suspicious looking substance. carefully, i used my fork to remove a giant strand of hair.

now not only was i sick to my stomach, i was angry. at this point we put our food down, and i immediately swept the contents into a garbage bag and took the bag out and dumped it down the garbage shoot.

upon returning to my apartment i picked up the telephone and decided that this incident could not go unchallenged, and so i decided i would call the restaurant.

after a few rings a woman picked up and asked how could she help me. to which i replied i had just received an order of food with a bug and a hair in it. now here’s where things get for lack of a better word fascinating. the woman asked me what i wanted, and i said i wanted them to refund my money. oh no we can’t do that, she said. so i demanded to speak to the manager. the manager is not here right now, she told me. so i suggested they find him and have him call me back immediately. to which she said no. so i politely informed her that if the manager didn’t call me back in the next 60 minutes i would be calling the board of the health to inform them of the situation. after a brief pause i was told that the manager would call me shortly.

about 40 minutes go by until the phone rings again. below is to the best of my recollection the conversation that ensued — for most of it i was yelling:

me: hello
manager: yes, hello, i’m manager at sultani restaurant. is there problem?
me: well, if you consider food being served with a bug and hair in it a problem, then i’d say yes.
manager: what, what you mean bug and hair?
me: i just received an order of food from your restaurant and one container had a bug in it and the other had a hair.
manager: no. no sir, i have operated my restaurant for 16 years and i have never had that happen.
me: are you calling me a liar?
manager: no, i…where is the food now?
me: in the garbage.
manager: what about delivery man? is he there?
me: no, he left about an hour ago, right after he gave us the food.
manager: ok, well, i’m sending him back to get the food.
me: he can’t get the food, i told you i threw it out.
manager: no, you shouldn’t have done this.
me: excuse me?
manager: we need to see the food to confirm these things. you shouldn’t have thrown it out.
me: well i don’t know about you, but where i grew up when you order food and it arrives and there is a bug in it and a hair in it then you throw that food out. you don’t save the food.
manager: but we need the food back.
me: and i needed to eat dinner that didn’t have a bug in it.
manager: can you get the food from the garbage?
me: no?
manager: we need the food, you shouldn’t have thrown it away.
me: are you listening to me? people do not save food when it comes with bugs in it, they throw it away. people don’t want to see food that has that in it, it’s disgusting.
manager: no, you save the food for the restaurant so that they can take it back.
me: what? i’m sorry, but maybe in the future if you want customers to save their meals if they arrive with bugs in them then that’s something you should consider putting on your receipt or menu or something, cause most of the time people’s insticts are gonna be if they do happen to get food delivered with either bugs or hair in it is to throw that food away.
manager: well, then i cannot do anything.
me: what do you mean.
manager: i cannot give you new food if you threw away the old food.
me: i don’t want new food, i want my money back.
manager: no, i cannot do that.
me: yes, you can.
manager: no, i cannot. i can only replace the food with new food.
me: what about my explanation of receiving food with a bug and hair in it from your restaurant makes you think that i would want to get more food from your restaurant. i want my money back, i don’t want other food.
manager: fine, i can give you a credit.
me: did you hear what i just said?
manager: i hear fine.
me: then why did you offer me a credit to order food from somewhere that i will clearly never eat from again. let me tell you a little something about this thing called consumer trust. when you a restaurant serve me a consumer food with bugs and hair in it you lose that trust, after that i never eat your food again. do you know why? because people trust restaurants to serve them food that is 100% bug and hair free. so telling me you’re gonna give me anything short of my money back right here is unacceptable.
manager: i cannot do that.
me: well then i’m going to be calling the board of health to report you and my credit card company to dispute the charge.
manager: fine
me: okay, fine.

at which point i hung up and proceeded to eat a spoonful of some mac and cheese and a sausage that we had in the freezer.

the end.

This And That

okay, i have a fantastic anecdote to share involving the ordering of take-in food this past sunday evening, said food arriving with a bug and hair in it, and the aftermath that ensued including my conversations with the manager of this establishment…however, i do not have the time to share said anecdote at the moment.

the reason for this is because i still have a decent amount of packing to do before heading east for the next couple of weeks to attend some weddings and spend thanksgiving with the fam. but, i promise the details of this incident will be forthcoming in the next few days so stay tuned.

for now, back to packing and watching election results…

Tomorrow Comes Today

As a child I used to loathe the years when Halloween fell on a weekday. This would inevitably mean less time for trick or treating and therefore less candy. Nowadays I am less upset by the mid-week occurrence, mostly because it means that Halloween turns into an extended holiday where it becomes acceptable to spend anywhere from 3-5 days partying in a costume (depending on the proximity of the closest weekend). Not to mention I also am now more than fully capable of driving to the store and buying all the candy that I want at any time of the year.

Anyways. This past weekend some of said partying took place at the Kibitz room, as I was fortunate enough to catch a few local bands perform. The bands were The Daves (who are 1/2 of the Whiskey Saints http://www.myspace.com/thewhiskeysaints), The Squares (http://www.myspace.com/thesquaresla), and The Mythical Creatures (http://www.myspace.com/mythicalcreatureslive).

All of them were outstanding, however the performance by The Mythical Creatures was especially entertaining (and in this case highly relevant) as the band consists of (as the name implies) mythical creatures featuring a Unicorn, Santa Claus, The Wolfman, Dracula, The Grim Reaper, and (i’m told) Zeus (who was unable to make it to Friday’s performance). Any theoretical resemblance between said mythical creatures and certain members of the Daves and the Squares I am told is completely coincidental.

I definitely recommend checking them out, and for those in the LA area i highly recommend trying to see them live as they give one of the better live performances of any local band i’ve come across in many, many years.

Then on my way home from the bar I drove past a bunch of people on Hollywood Blvd wandering/stumbling around drunkenly in costume. The highlight being a midget in a Chuckie costume. Well, presumably it was a midget…I suppose it could have been a child, but given that it was 2am I’m leaning towards midget (then again it is hollywood).

On Saturday I saw Flags Of Our Fathers, which has nothing to do with Halloween, but since it was part of how I spent my weekend I figured it deserves mentioning here. It was enjoyable but nothing great (the film, not the weekend).

Alright, time to go watch some television.

Happy Halloween everyone.

C-O-N-spiracy

so, it’s been pointed out to me by several people that a day after my latest blog post (re: television theme songs, or the recent lack thereof) that an AP article appeared covering this same topic.

now, while some might say that this is a timely coincidence demonstrating the relevance of my blog. i say clearly there is only one logical explanation…which is the associated press has obviously (unbeknownst to me) implanted a microchip into my brain in order to steal my thoughts to use for their own nefarious gains.

not to worry, i will take the necessary steps to assure that this aggression will not continue, and do not be alarmed if you see me in the future wearing an aluminum/tin foil hat.

otherwise, the weekend was good. saw a couple of films. The Departed, which was outstanding and i highly recommend…and The Prestige, which was enjoyable with some really impressive performances, but overall not nearly as good as The Departed.

However, at the screening of The Prestige i was graced with another celebrity sighting. sitting in the row in front of me at the Arclight was Danny Woodburn (better known as Mickey from Seinfeld). Who, unlike many of the other celebrities i see, was exactly as short as i would have expected.

We Now Return To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

right. i suppose another explanation is in order to address my latest prolonged absence from blogging. i don’t really have one, other than to say i’m lazy (something that those of you who’ve read my blog from day one are already well aware of).

this isn’t to say, however, that i haven’t been busy in the time since last i blogged. on the contrary…two weekends ago i was back in las vegas for a bachelor party weekend. and you’ll notice two new additions to the celeb list (that is if you’re reading this on friendster if not…well take my word for it, they’ve been added) as nicky hilton and her beau kevin connolly were in town and ended up stealing our reservation for dinner saturday night. otherwise the weekend was a good time, but comments regarding events that took place shall be left unspoken (written) about.

as the saying goes, what happens in vegas stays in vegas…except syphillis, you take that with you (note to any concerned — syphillis has in no way shape or form contributed to my blogging absence).

one of the things that i have been doing with my lazy ass is enjoying the return of fall tv’s regular programming (sans the interruptions caused by baseball — which i don’t mind as of the moment, being that i am a mets fan).

there have been a bunch of really good new shows that i highly recommend you check out if you aren’t already watching.

Heroes
Studio 60
Friday Night Lights
Jericho
Dexter
The Nine

these new shows are in my opinion the best of the bunch and have all been slotted into my weekly tv schedule which now takes up aprox. 15 hours a week (not counting sports and miscellaneous shows that i don’t watch habitually). impressive right?

anyways, with all this television watching i’ve recently realized that tv today is sorely lacking in one area that once graced practically ever show on air…that is the original theme song.

now, i’m not talking about the opening score/sound effects that seems to be all the rage these days (see: Lost, ER, Jericho, Prison Break, etc.) or the use of songs that were not created for the sole purpose of being a theme song (see: OC).

no, what i want is a return to the days when shows had fantastic opening theme songs that could then be later gathered on to compilation cds of tv’s greatest hits. i think that future generations are being denied one of the great pleasures that comes from hearing a decade old television theme song that instantly produces nostalgiac feelings of days passed.

the original tv theme song is a lost art, and one that i believe that has greater ramifications for our children then most of the other problems in the world today.

years from now (if the world hasn’t been destroyed by global warming, nuclear holocaust, plague, etc) what will college kids have at their disposal to sing at 3 in the morning while drunk if television doesn’t provide them with any good theme songs from when they were young?

The Facts of Life, Different Strokes, Charles In Charge, Growing Pains, etc…

now those were shows with theme songs you could get behind and look forward to hearing on a week to week basis. these days there’s nothing even close to resembling a classic tv theme song(except for perhaps Family Guy, they have a fantastic opening theme song, which probably stems from the fact that without all those great shows of the 80s there probably would be no Family Guy).

in the course of thinking about this blog topic i was spent a lot of time debating with myself as to what the greatest television theme song of all time was. in the end i decided it was a tie between the theme from The Garry Shandling Show and Land Of The Lost

what do you think?

me ♥ vacation

so, i’ve been out of town for the last week or so. I was in Vegas “vacationing” with the fam. I use quotes because these last few days have only served to reinforce what i knew prior to my driving east, which is that my parents’ idea of what constitutes a vacation are vastly different from mine.

for example, I enjoy playing golf while on vacation…I do not however enjoy waking up before 6am to do so. waking up at sunrise is something that should only be done (if ever) when going to work.

I’m pretty sure I could have gotten up early and not gone on a vacation.

this isn’t to say that I didn’t have a good time. for the most part I did (good parts consisted mainly of great restaurants, the actual process of golfing, as opposed to waking up to go golfing, cirque de soleil shows - esp. Love - and winning $200 in about 45 minutes)…however, i will probably need a week of sleeping to recover. unfortunately, this week will not be forthcoming as for part of this coming week my parents will be continuing their vacation out here in LA. There is, however, as of the moment, no golf planned. that said, i’m sure other reasons will be found to necessitate waking up at the crack of dawn.

anyways.

today, i spent the day running around trying to do some errands, which was for the most part a pain in the ass.

i will not get into this further, as there was little interesting to be said for these errands other than to describe the traffic that came with them…and i’m of the belief that traffic is, generally speaking, not something worth talking about more than to say it sucks.

i did, however see a very interesting license plate on a car in said traffic that gave me some things to think about at one point this afternoon.

the license plate said me ♥ tivo.

now, haivng been on vacation during the week when most of the new shows (as well as returning shows) that i plan on watching this fall made their debuts, this is a sentiment that i can certainly appreciate.

that said, i couldn’t help but wonder if

a. I ♥ tivo was taken and so the person had to settle for the poor grammar choice

b. the person has watched so much television it has in fact rotted his brain

c. the person was a foreigner and is still learning the nuances of personal pronouns.

or

d. the person is stupid.

along with his license plate, some other things of interest on his car were a large selection of bumper stickers (some of which covered portions of the car other than the bumper - so i’m not certain if these should still be referred to as bumper stickers or not). One of these stickers said, “divorce kevin.” I think this is probably as much of a clue as needed in order to determine which of the above scenarios is the most likely.

If I Ran A Tabloid

A few weeks ago (see post from 8/29) word began to circulate that Osama Bin Laden had a huge crush on Whitney Houston. Reportedly, Osama believed Whitney to be a beautiful woman brainwashed by American culture and Bobby Brown. It was even stated that Osama had gone so far as to discuss the possibility of having Bobby killed (whether this was intended to free Whitney from his brainwashing clutches, or to perhaps open the door for himself was never clear).

And now, yesterday, news outlets began to report that Whitney (after 14 years of marriage) has filed for divorce, citing the usual irreconcilable differences.

Now, i’m not saying anything, i’m just saying…

Whitney and Bobby manage to remain together for 14 years. Their marriage withstood drug addictions, numerous arrests (some w/ jail time), the decline of Whitney’s image (from the once queen of the early 90s to the cracked out lunatic of today), allegations of domestic abuse, and god knows what else.

Then a couple of weeks ago word of Osama’s crush is revealed, and yesterday Whitney and Bobby call it quits?

Coincidence? I think not.

A Brief Recap Of Some Weekend Events

The majority of this past weekend was spent catching up on some movie watching. I saw Little Miss Sunshine, Idiocracy, The Illusionist, and also got around to watching When The Levees Broke, the Spike Lee doc on Katrina.

All of these films were very enjoyable.

However, if you are a Mike Judge fan, and have the opportunity, i highly recommend you see Idiocracy, as this was by far one of the funniest films i’ve seen in years. I’m not sure as to what exactly is going on with the film, as it hasn’t been advertised at all, and i’ve heard rumors that something happened between Judge and the studio (fox) that is causing them (fox) to sandbag the film, so i’m not sure how many of you will have the ability to see it…but if you can, you should. you will laugh. a lot.

I also have a few new additions to my celebrity list. So, welcome to Bob Odenkirk (who was sitting behind my brother and I at the Arclight for Idiocracy), and Tori Spelling (who walked into Joans on Third briefly Saturday afternoon before — i presume — deciding it was too long to wait for lunch)

It’s actually been a while since i encountered any celebs in the flesh, which could be attributed to the fact that i don’t lead a very glamourous life and so the places i go to are not the types of places that celebrities would frequent. Or it could be attributed to the fact that i don’t really go out much at all. It is probably a nice healthy mix of the two.

Anyways, for those of you on MySpace who are unaware, I have been keeping track of all the celebrities that i have encountered during my time in LA. I am unsure whether I have the capabilities to post said list here in the same manner it is displayed on my Friendster blog. I will investigate this and get back to you.

But, for those of you looking to view the list, feel free to head over to my friendster blog at any time.

Also, for those of you looking at my list for the very first time, you may perhaps be interested in reviewing my criteria in determining celebrity status. And you can do so here

alright…that’s all for the recap.

Possibly The Greatest Thing Ever

this might be the greatest idea i’ve ever seen. unfortunately, i probably do not possess the moral constitution required to take advantage of all they have to offer. but, please, don’t let that stop you.

click here