and now my anecdote about my ordering food two weeks ago only to have it to arrive with a bug and a hair in it and my ensuing conversation with people from the restaurant from which the food came.
so, two sundays ago (11/5) my brother and i ordered food for dinner from this place called Sultani Restaurant (a little middle eastern place on la brea). we both ordered the same dish, a number 1. which consists of a ground beef koobideh sandwich and a side of hummus. i ordered a side of rice with mine, my brother did not.
we had on previous occassions ordered from Sultani before, but in the past our order had consisted of only their vegetarian platter (1 container each of hummus, baba ghanouj, and tabouleh).
so it was somewhat of an unknown as to what venturing further down their menu would bring us on this particular night. as it turned out, the only thing it ended up bringing us was an overwhelming feeling of nausea and a story for the blog.
the food took quite a while to be delivered, which is never a good sign. i mention this mostly so that you might be cognizant of how hungry we were when the food finally arrived. i suppose the fact that we had practically no other food in the house also merits mentioning.
anyways. after more than an hour the food finally arrived, which we gladly accepted from the delivery guy and got ready to eat.
i opened up the first container which held the sandwich and hummus and assumed that since there was no rice that it belonged to my brother. so i passed it to him and grabbed the other container. slowly i opened the second container. the first thing that i saw was that this container was also missing rice. this disappointed me. however my disappointment quickly disappeared as i noticed that instead of rice my container contained a bug inside (which as far as i was concerned was not an acceptable substitute).
immediately a wave of nausea hit as i said aloud, “there is a bug in my food.”
my brother looked over to confirm that indeed i was not hallucinating and in fact my sandwich had been served up with a side of bug. i’m not entirely sure as to what kind of bug it was. perhaps a small cockroach.
anyways, i suppose what happened next is something that i deserve at least some of the blame for.
the bug was not actually touching the sandwich it was in one of those sectioned styrofoam containers, and so after a brief moment of contemplation my brother said he would take the food with the bug in it. again, be mindful of the state of food in our apartment was little and the time we had waited already to eat was long.
i kept saying no, that there was no way i could eat from this restaurant now, or ever again. but eventually, i caved, and i handed my brother my container and took his. i took a bite of the sandwich and to be honest i didn’t taste anything as the only thing i could think of was the bug.
in fact, i pretty much zoned out in a shell-shocked sort of way. alternately taking bites of the sandwich and scoops of hummus with pita. it therefore took a few moments after my brother said, “um, what’s that?” that i registered he was referring to my food. i looked down at the dish i was eating from, and there in the middle of my side of hummus was a suspicious looking substance. carefully, i used my fork to remove a giant strand of hair.
now not only was i sick to my stomach, i was angry. at this point we put our food down, and i immediately swept the contents into a garbage bag and took the bag out and dumped it down the garbage shoot.
upon returning to my apartment i picked up the telephone and decided that this incident could not go unchallenged, and so i decided i would call the restaurant.
after a few rings a woman picked up and asked how could she help me. to which i replied i had just received an order of food with a bug and a hair in it. now here’s where things get for lack of a better word fascinating. the woman asked me what i wanted, and i said i wanted them to refund my money. oh no we can’t do that, she said. so i demanded to speak to the manager. the manager is not here right now, she told me. so i suggested they find him and have him call me back immediately. to which she said no. so i politely informed her that if the manager didn’t call me back in the next 60 minutes i would be calling the board of the health to inform them of the situation. after a brief pause i was told that the manager would call me shortly.
about 40 minutes go by until the phone rings again. below is to the best of my recollection the conversation that ensued — for most of it i was yelling:
me: hello
manager: yes, hello, i’m manager at sultani restaurant. is there problem?
me: well, if you consider food being served with a bug and hair in it a problem, then i’d say yes.
manager: what, what you mean bug and hair?
me: i just received an order of food from your restaurant and one container had a bug in it and the other had a hair.
manager: no. no sir, i have operated my restaurant for 16 years and i have never had that happen.
me: are you calling me a liar?
manager: no, i…where is the food now?
me: in the garbage.
manager: what about delivery man? is he there?
me: no, he left about an hour ago, right after he gave us the food.
manager: ok, well, i’m sending him back to get the food.
me: he can’t get the food, i told you i threw it out.
manager: no, you shouldn’t have done this.
me: excuse me?
manager: we need to see the food to confirm these things. you shouldn’t have thrown it out.
me: well i don’t know about you, but where i grew up when you order food and it arrives and there is a bug in it and a hair in it then you throw that food out. you don’t save the food.
manager: but we need the food back.
me: and i needed to eat dinner that didn’t have a bug in it.
manager: can you get the food from the garbage?
me: no?
manager: we need the food, you shouldn’t have thrown it away.
me: are you listening to me? people do not save food when it comes with bugs in it, they throw it away. people don’t want to see food that has that in it, it’s disgusting.
manager: no, you save the food for the restaurant so that they can take it back.
me: what? i’m sorry, but maybe in the future if you want customers to save their meals if they arrive with bugs in them then that’s something you should consider putting on your receipt or menu or something, cause most of the time people’s insticts are gonna be if they do happen to get food delivered with either bugs or hair in it is to throw that food away.
manager: well, then i cannot do anything.
me: what do you mean.
manager: i cannot give you new food if you threw away the old food.
me: i don’t want new food, i want my money back.
manager: no, i cannot do that.
me: yes, you can.
manager: no, i cannot. i can only replace the food with new food.
me: what about my explanation of receiving food with a bug and hair in it from your restaurant makes you think that i would want to get more food from your restaurant. i want my money back, i don’t want other food.
manager: fine, i can give you a credit.
me: did you hear what i just said?
manager: i hear fine.
me: then why did you offer me a credit to order food from somewhere that i will clearly never eat from again. let me tell you a little something about this thing called consumer trust. when you a restaurant serve me a consumer food with bugs and hair in it you lose that trust, after that i never eat your food again. do you know why? because people trust restaurants to serve them food that is 100% bug and hair free. so telling me you’re gonna give me anything short of my money back right here is unacceptable.
manager: i cannot do that.
me: well then i’m going to be calling the board of health to report you and my credit card company to dispute the charge.
manager: fine
me: okay, fine.
at which point i hung up and proceeded to eat a spoonful of some mac and cheese and a sausage that we had in the freezer.
the end.