How To Pee

The following article was brought to my attention (thank you julie) in regards to my previous post regarding the bare-assed urinating asian child i was encountering in the school’s bathroom the past couple of weeks. I have posted it below, as I was having trouble with the link.

Enjoy….

One, two, poo in your shoe; three, four, wee on the floor

It may seem like a piddling problem, but increasingly large numbers of Japanese children, especially little boys, don’t know how to pee properly, according to Sunday Mainichi (7/30).

It’s kids way of wee-weeing that’s surprising some, with one elementary school first grade teacher saying that half the 18 boys in his class dropped their trousers around their ankles and exposed the lower halves of their bodies every time they spent a penny.

“Up until a few years ago, you’d get two or three kids a class like that every year, but I’m surprised just how quickly the number of kids who urinate that way has proliferated,” the teacher tells Sunday Mainichi.

“And, you know what, there are so many kids who have no idea how to use a urinal and will only go about their business on a Western-style toilet. Some kids don’t like urinals because they feel exposed, but I really do get the feeling that most of these boys simply have no idea how men are supposed to dispose of their bodily wastes.”

Many young school children refuse to use bathrooms by themselves. Others don’t know they’re supposed to flush toilets after they use them because they’re so used to having a parent, nurse or teacher do it for them.

“There are some girls who dislike using toilets because of fears about whoever may have sat on the seat before they did, which is kind of understandable. Some of the other reasons kids give for refusing to the toilet aren’t, though, like those who hate the seat being cold,” the teacher says.

“Our school only has Western-style toilets but, unlike a lot of homes, the seats aren’t heated and because of that kids won’t use them because they don’t like the feel of cold hard steel on their butts.”

Fastidiousness about cleanliness, to the point of obsession, is driving kids almost potty and ensuring they don’t use the, well, potty. Others with a keen sense of smell become standouts at the slightest whiff of an unpleasant odor. Still more feel the need to use an entire toilet roll to wipe their butts after each sitting in the hope they’ll remove any last vestige of poop remaining.

Kindergartens, too, are bogged down by problems caused by bogs, and these troubles are compounded in one way by toilet doors deliberately made with large gaps at the top and bottom in case something untoward happens and teachers can peer in to check on their charges.

“Some kids start crying, saying their embarrassed that somebody might see them peeing, while others are scared because of the gaps in the doors. They make all kinds of excuses not to use the toilets,” one kindergarten teacher tells Sunday Mainichi.

“Of course, we realize there it’s only natural there’ll be some troubles involved in toilet training children as the kids adjust to being in a different environment, but these should only be temporary matters. From the point of view of a childcare worker, we’re dealing with problems that should be pretty easy to solve.”

But the solution comes from the home, which many childcare workers blame for being the root of the problem. Parents, however, say they’re doing everything possible to get their offspring in the right mood, but it’s just not working out right when they try to bring things to a, well, head.

“When I see my (3-year-old) daughter squirming around, I know it’s time for her to go, but when I suggest we head to the toilet, she stubbornly refuses, saying she doesn’t need to go. If I forcibly take her into the toilet, she kicks and screams and rants and raves until I give up. By that time, she’s already soiled herself,” one beleaguered mother says. “After that, she hides behind curtains or in cupboards and races around so I can’t catch her.”

Parents are hardly helping each other, either, with successful toilet trainers accorded an exclusive status that allows them to lord it over their still struggling peers.

“Women who’ve got their kids toilet trained quickly all boast about their success. That leaves me feeling like a failure because my kid still can’t use the toilet properly,” the mom says. “I realize everybody’s different and some kids take more time than others, but I still feel under enormous pressure.”

Another mother points out a different problem caused by living in a land where parenthood is still largely left in the hands of women.

“It’s really hard to show a little boy how to pee,” the 34-year-old mother of a 4-year-old kindergartner tells Sunday Mainichi. “It’s not like moms know how to piss standing up. We don’t know the right way for boys to get rid of their wastes. Guys don’t wipe themselves after having a pee, right? It seems kinda dirty to me. I really, really hate it when I see undies with skidmarks in them.”

Some experts say the little ones’ laxity in the loo may be their way of sending a message to their parents that they need a little more tender, loving care.

“Some children deliberately urinate all over the place or defecate in their parents’ shoes,” a consultant on childcare for new moms tells Sunday Mainichi. “By doing this, they’re trying to attract their parents’ attention. I think it’s a sign from the kids.”

(By Ryann Connell) July 21, 2006

Nails

I have a problem cutting my nails. For some reason, practically every time i try to trim my finger nails i end up cutting them too short. This ultimately leads to my skin breaking just below the nail’s surface, resulting in a bloody painful finger tip.

I don’t know why I continue to cut my nails too short. Every time I sit down to trim them I am cognizant of my predilection for cutting them too short, and yet I am incapable of correcting this problem.

I am tempted to never cut them, so as to ensure my never having to deal with this problem again, but I suspect that this would perhaps create new problems with similarly painful results. Things like putting in my contact lenses would probably, eventually, become a real challenge (which isn’t to say that i’m one who doesn’t relish the occassional challenge).

Anyways…it might interest you to know that this post was typed with nine fingers, as currently my left pointer finger is out of commission.

Sunday Night Sleep

today started out with a suck….actually, the sucking began last evening. for some reason (i have theories) i can never get a good night’s sleep sunday night whenever i have to get up on a monday morning.

a few years ago i had a bout of insomnia — that was pretty miserable. i used to go three or four days getting maybe 5 hours of sleep, total. but as is the case with most bouts of insomnia, i was never tired during the day. mostly i just spent my days walking around like a zombie (a reoccurring theme here at the blog recently), a little disorientated and pissed off. at night i just watched a lot of television and spent many hours reading as i tried, in vain, to get some shut-eye.

so, it’s always with some familiarity that my late sunday/early morning monday hours are spent lying in bed awake with no hope of getting a good night of rest. however, the difference now, is that i wake up the next morning — or perhaps more appropriately get out of bed the next morning — really, really, really friggin tired.

I had to purchase a venti iced coffee just to make it home from teaching this afternoon — if i hadn’t, i probably would have fallen asleep at the wheel and crashed…i suspect this would have been bad, though it probably would have allowed me a few hours of needed sleep - assuming i didn’t kill myself, in which case i would have never been tired again.

usually, the rest of the week i can sleep just fine, it’s just sunday night that kills me. my guess is that my body is incapable of handling the schedule shift that the weekend hours brings. not going to sleep for a couple of nights until past midnight and sleeping till past 5:30am seems to screw everything up when sunday rolls around and i have to revert back to the work week schedule.

now, clearly, a solution would be to maintain a similar schedule over the weekend as i do during the week - this is in fact what most experts recommend for people anyways. but f that…it’s bad enough i have to get up at 5:30 5 days a week, there’s no way i’m getting up at that time by choice on the remaining 2 days (actually, experts allow you to sleep an extra 30 min without screwing up your internal clock, so technically i could sleep in until 6).

anyways - i don’t really have too much of a point here, other than the fact that i’m really tired right now. i did take a brief nap this afternoon, but didn’t want to sleep too much, lest i screw up tonight’s chances of getting a full night of zzzz’s.

alright…i’m gonna go now. i sound like a walking advertisement for ambien.

Zombies Continued

The verdict is in…

and “The Hotel Of No Return,” will continue. In a resounding vote against the tyranny of oppression that hoped to prevent children from their inalienable rights to make zombie films, all but one parent signed their letters giving the children in my class the necessary permission to keep working on the film.

some parents even asked that a lesson in censorship be included in the future as part of the curriculum.

ironically, the only parent who said no is the parent to two sisters in my class who coincidentally took the same class during the first session of this summer program (while i was teaching creative writing). the film that they made last session was about…yep, you guessed it, zombies.

seems like there was no problem making a film about zombies, that is, until the parent found out that her children were making a film about zombies.

the program director called her this morning to give her the option of removing her children from the class, after telling her that we would be continuing with the film due to the other children having permission. the parent said that she wanted to discuss it with her children first before deciding.

i’m guessing the kids will still be in class tomorrrow…especially given that her children (who, while extremely well-behaved and sweet) are among the several whose suggestions have bordered on the graphic and extreme…so she probably doesn’t have to worry too much about this class corrupting their innocence.

anyways…score one for the good guys

Zombies, Hysterics, And A Letter Home

so, things took a turn for the interesting this morning when one (now former) student’s mother came to school demanding that her child be removed from my class and put into another program due to the “inappropriate material” that we are working on.

by inappropriate material, she was referring to the zombie film that the class is currently in the process of producing. I, of course, found the whole thing rather amusing, although the program director was less then pleased when the hysterical woman began threatening to involve the school board. citing the lack of concern for the children’s well-being by allowing them to continue to work on a film involving zombies.

the strange thing is that I have no part in deciding what material the class works on, rather the kids brainstorm to come up with story ideas, and then vote to choose which one they most want to turn into a film. Our zombie flick being one of the tamer options I might add (I would have hated to see her react to one of the other voted upon choices - a film about a serial killer who collects his victim’s hearts and keeps them in jars in order to get superpowers. or the one i was pulling for, about “terrorists attacking a school and killing off children until their parents stop making war on their country”). but even after this was explained, the woman suggested that my job as a teacher was to tell the children no they are not allowed to work on “scary material.”

now, don’t get me wrong, i have no problems with a parent dictating what their child is exposed to (in their feeble attempts to shield them from the horrors that lurk around every corner - the least concerning being zombies). however, i also am pretty sure that the extent of gore and horror that will be produced in the class will probably pale in comparison to anything that the child (10-11 years old) has already seen in their life (that is, of course, unless the child is kept locked in a bubble when not in school).

so, now, in order to move forward i had to write a letter home to all the children’s parents asking for them to sign the “permission slip” to allow us to continue with our zombie film.

as one child so eloquently put it, “that’s stupid.”

here below is said letter for your enjoyment.

i will have you know that the program director was extremely impressed by my letter writing ability, and she told me i was a very good writer. I responded by telling her that i would be happy to compose any other future letters home to parents as the need arose.

anyways, keep your fingers cross…we’ll find out tomorrow if the “Hotel of No Return” will continue….

Things We Learn With Age

at what age do children learn that it is possible to use a urinal without dropping their pants to the floor? I pose this question because for the past week I have encountered a small asian child who is a student at my current place of employment who has not yet learned.

class for the summer program i teach runs from 8:40am until 10:40am before the students break for 20min for a recess/snack period. so usually at this time I take the opportunity to use the restroom, as I, unlike the students, do not have the luxury of going during class.

and for two out of the last three days (this past wed, thurs) I have entered the bathroom only to find the aforementioned bare-assed asian child relieving himself at one of the three urinals. now, usually this puts me in that awkward position of trying to figure out a way to stall for time, so as not to put myself in a position of having to stand next to him while urinating (this usually means pretending to use the mirror or washing my hands — which, needless to say, is perhaps not the best of choices as it puts me in a position where I cannot escape seeing his behind due to the position of said mirrors in relation to the urinals — however, there are not too many other ways to stall for time in a bathroom). and while this whole thing about not using the urinal at the same time may seem slightly foolish on my part, I have as a rule of thumb a pretty firm policy of not standing next to people in the bathroom while their pants are dropped to the floor (no matter what their age).

on friday, however, the nature of our relationship (that is me and the bare-assed asian child) changed. see, on friday i entered the bathroom to find it empty, and with a sigh of relief made my way to the urinal at the far end of the room. but, no sooner than i had unzipped and began to go, did the kid burst through the door and make a beeline for the urinal right next to mine. caught literally with my dick in my hands, i could do nothing but stand there as he dropped his pants to the floor and began to pee.

and there the two of us stood side by side relieving ourselves.

the kid finished up before i did, and he headed over to the sink to wash up. once i finished i too joined him at the sink area to also wash. he finished washing, and grabbed some paper towels to dry his hands. but, then after drying his hands he did not (unlike the previous days) exit the bathroom. instead, he continued to stand by the paper towel dispenser watching me. I, unsure of what he was doing, slowly finished up washing my hands and then turned towards the paper towels. and that is when the kid reached up and grabbed three paper towels from the dispenser and handed them to me. i took the towels from him, and as i did, he smiled, turned, and ran out the door, leaving me behind to think about how the handing of paper towels to a random person in a restroom and standing at a urinal with pants around the ankles are both things (with some exceptions) we eventually stop doing with age.

4th O July Weekend Recap

Some people say a watched pot never boils. This is wrong. I made pasta this evening for dinner, and the water did in fact boil as I watched. This was the highlight of my day. Unless you count the fact that my morning commute only took about 50 min this morning as opposed to the usual 75. Seems like some people were a little slow in getting back to the work week…Of course this did absolutely nothing beneficial for me, as I still woke up at the same time and just ended up sitting in my classroom an extra 20 min or so before the tykes arrived.

I hope everyone had a good 4th. My weekend was pretty solid. Some partying, some very necessary sleep, saw Superman Returns (ehh, it was good, not great), and topped it off by watching the most exciting Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest held to date.

For those of you not already aware, Japanese phenom, Takeru Kobayashi, won his record 6th straight competition, besting his previous world record of 53 1/2 hot dogs in 12 mins with a total of 53 3/4. However, for the first time since Kobayashi burst onto the IFOCE (International Federation Of Competetive Eating) scene he faced some serious competition. This coming from newcomer, 22 year old, Joey Chestnut, who managed to consume 52 dogs.

Clearly, this is a very exciting time for fans of the annual hot dog eating competition (as well as other IFOCE events), and I look forward to watching the rookie Chestnut continue to take the challenge to Kobayashi in the coming years, until he is able to once again, bring the title of Hot Dog Eating Champion Of The World back to America.

Oh, I also saw Doug Savant on my way to see Superman in the Hollywood Highland Shops. He was on the escalator behind me as I came up from the parking garage.